Man, what I would give...

- to see a president -- any president, even that Dave guy who used to own President's Choice -- give a press conference while dressed in a Spider-Man costume.

- for a year's supply of Reese's peanut butter cups.

- to have Ghostface Killah make an entire album with El-P (both as MCs, El-P on the boards). For a taste, check out the Hide Ya Face remix. It's sublime.

- for Pringles, Orion, or any other snack-food company to formulate and market a BBQ kimchi potato chip. Failing that, a bulgogi potato chip. If Pizza Hut can put sweet potatoes on a pizza and make it (arguably) work, some culinary chemist must be able to fulfill my wish. If not, there is no God.

- for the Red Sox and Yankees to meet again in this year's ALCS. Unfortunately, there's no way it could ever be as monumental and exciting as last year's series. If they do meet, I'm afraid it'll be It Was Written, as opposed to last year's combination of Illmatic, It Takes a Nation of Millions..., Paid In Full, Critical Beatdown, Resurrection, One For All, The Chronic, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, and Criminal Minded. Still, I'll be content if anyone mashes A-Rod in the face. I don't ask for much.

- to see a new Stanley Kubrick film. My choices would be: The Catcher in the Rye (while it's impossible that Kubrick will direct -- his being dead and all -- it will happen in my lifetime), and an episodic film based on the Klondike and South Seas stories of Jack London.

- for the TV show Quantum Leap to be reborn. I recently purchased the series' first 3 seasons, and, while there are quite a few episodes that are absolutely cringe-worthy, the premise is great, and the on-screen comraderie between Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell is awesome. Shame it was ever cancelled in the first place.

- for a 1/2 gram of cocaine. Just kidding. That's too little. (Again, just kidding; I sometimes wonder if I'm putting myself in jeopardy by posting drug jokes and jokes suggesting the fire-bombimg of certain nation's embassies. After further thought, nawwwww.)


- a car. I really need a car.

- an extra hour's sleep every morning. I really need an extra hour's sleep every morning.


ZZZZZzzzzzz.