Shlock and Terror

A little over a week ago I postulated that Birdemic: Shock and Terror would change my life and indeed it has, yet the shift was so monumental that I am, as of today, forty-eight short hours removed from the experience, still unable to adequately coalesce my thoughts and emotions into any tangible prose. Yes, the film is just that impressive (to say nothing of its profundity), though to proclaim such things and have you believe me without having experienced the cinemagic yourself is, understandably, a tall order; your patience in the matter is appreciated greatly (although you've only yourself to blame if the trailer hasn't inspired you to acquire the film immediately).

While I'll temporarily abstain from an attempt -however futile- to pierce the unfathomable mystery that is Birdemic: Shock and Terror, I do feel it is in our collective interest to briefly introduce and discuss the driving force behind the film, enigmatic writer/producer/director/financier/stunt choreographer James Nguyen, a man whose IMDb profile picture (dated 2003) differs suspiciously from the picture shown below (undated, but one should presume that it's more recent given the release date of Nguyen's masterwork). Suppositions notwithstanding, the guy has aged disastrously in the seventeen years since the IMDb photo was taken. One can only presume that such premature decomposition* is the direct result of pouring one's heart and soul into a 'romantic thriller' centering around a glorified telemarketer, his foxy girlfriend, and a swarm of birds on the warpath.**

From interviews like this, film buffs, aspiring filmmakers, and laymen alike can glean the very nature of the craft itself, as well as the nuts and bolts of low-budget productions.

James Nguyen on the films which influenced him:

"...The Birds is very prophetic. It was made in 1963, but it dealt with very prophetic issues, the environment and all that."

James Nguyen on the inherent flaws of romantic films:

"But romance alone—a chick flick—is not just enough. I’m not interested in a chick flick. It’s gotta be a mystery, suspense, a thriller."

On his place within the directorial pantheon:

"...and I figured at least I’m a master of this genre I believe."

Nguyen on how to get noticed at the Sundance Film Festival:

"I went to Sundance, decorated my car with blood and a giant bird and drove up and down Main Street blaring bird noises out of a loud speaker."

If this smattering of quotes doesn't convince you of his skill, nothing will, though to truly understand the man, one must partake of Birdemic: Shock and Terror in its visceral entirety.

Watch it. Watch it now. Watch it before the next Birdemic post, damn you.

* Known from this day forward as Nguyentegration.

** We've all been there.