Perpetual Moron(s)

A doesn't want to admit it, but she's in love with

B, who has no interest in women, or sex, except that he's intrigued by

C, who has two kids but remains unwed, on account of the fact that, as a younger woman, she was ensnared by

D, a man who, for all intents and purposes, views sex and love as one in the same, until the allure escapes him.

E hasn't the slightest clue as to his ultimate sexual preference, although he has an undeniable crush upon

F, who suffers from a bad case of Crohn's disease but wants to live life to its fullest alongside

G, a woman devoid of ulterior motives other than an unyielding devotion to her unfortunate idol,

H, the guy that everyone wants to meet because he's too aloof to warrant traditional relationships, mainly because he was abused as a child.

I just wants a few drinks, a few conquests, and the affection of

J, the girl that hangs out at White Rose Movement shows, if only to get a tee shirt before she gets baked for the sixteenth time this month, much to the chagrin of

K, who expects his friend to move beyond such tangential attachments, toward the scathing inebriation of fleshly embrace, while

L apprehends that her friends are full of shit, even though she loves the three of them with unabashed anguish.

M drinks himself to death's doorstep nightly, if only to forget that he's in love with

N, a woman in the process of giving birth while thinking of nothing other than hanging herself from the branch of her own private mulberry tree.

O never thought she would compromise, but she's juggling relationships with a nice guy,

P, the one with half a leg and half a dream, and

Q, the gal with a tattoo of the moon across her navel, the woman who sucked

R's dick because he has all the hookups to prescription drugs, the very same guy that raped

S, a dude that doesn't have the courage to inform his girlfriend,

T, that he now has HIV.

U is still trying to live a Dustland Fairytale existence, as it's the only thing that ever seemed to make sense to him, even though

V has already cut and torn her face beyond recognition in his honor, which is surprising because

W once had several ribs broken trying to protect the very same woman from the object of her devotion.

X lost his genitalia long ago, but still has a burning desire to save

Y, a man bereft of tangible desires, from

Z, a demonic woman too busy lipping Gabriel's Trumpet to give a damn about humanity's future.