No Place

Canada (Southern Ontario specifically), I love you; but you're breaking my heart. Why do you have to be so predictable?

1) All dressed Ruffles will never, ever go out of style.

2) If I had a dollar for every superfluous U I've been bombarded with since being back, I'd be neighbour flavour honour harbour. I need to find my centre before this shit gets out of hand.

3) Everyone, it seems, has an opinion on global warming. But it's hard to take your doomsaying seriously, ma'am, when you have three SUVs parked in front of your house.

4) It took me a while to figure out that "pour enfants" means "for children" in French, and not, as I had originally thought, "to rain babies hard or heavily."

5) Using the score to Requiem for a Dream in a telecommunications advertisement feels very, very wrong