Meat is Murder

The Outback in Cheonho doesn't have paper napkins at tables because they're "trying to be environmentally friendly."

I don't know about you, but I'm just not comfortable wiping my mouth with those big-ass folded napkins they wrap up their metal utensils with.

Maybe that makes me ghetto; maybe that makes me beneficent toward whoever would otherwise have to clean my greasy stains and snot off of such pristine cloth. Whatever the case, I'm sure the Outback braintrust can find better ways to serve customers and protect Earth than taking away a diner's god-given right.

(And don't get me started on the lack of neither salt nor pepper shakers.)

You want to do the world a favor, Outback Cheonho? Don't have the TV behind the bar always on SBS Golf. Golf is not the new-millennial mounted deer's head, okay? Ironically, know what you could do if you wanted to appear a little more like a fancy-schmancy dining establishment?

Put napkins at your tables, jerkasses.

And give every male customer a complementary blowjob.

(I'm not saying the cream of mushroom soup and strawberry smoothies are bad or anything, but if you really want to get a leg up on the competition...)