Same Title, Different Song XVI

Winter. It's more than a season, it's a state of mind; a state of mind, I say! It's cold, sometimes snowy, and in such a state, you feel especially lazy, am I right? As crazy as this may sound, we've all been there and I, for one, empathize with the sluggish perspective. Some days, you just need to set the heat to full blast and relax, and if the readers of this beautiful blog are anything like me, myself, and I, relax is best described as the delicate combination of

1) lounging about in one of the following: boxers, briefs, lingerie, oversized t-shirt, jersey (but only if it was produced prior to 1987*), granny nightgown (with sleeping cap and slippers, obviously), suit (birthday, clown, or pinstripe), diaper (with or without rattle and bonnet, it's your call)

and

2) holding one of the following in your lap: bucket of fried chicken, family size bag of Doritos (Cool Ranch, of course), Taco John's Six-Pack and a Pound, fully cooked (and fully stuffed) Butterball turkey**, fifteen-pound bag of Iams ProActive Health adult large breed dry dog food***, massive novelty Twizzler just a bit less bulbous than a blue whale's penis

but don't forget the secret ingredient, which is

3) to declare oneself too busy for this or that, such as:
         Hit the gym? Are you serious? I'm too busy for that today.
        Get the tires on my car rotated? That can wait till next month. 
        Listen, Mom, you can wait to go to the bathroom for at least another hour.
        Thesis? Let me get back to you about that. There's a Miami Vice marathon on Spike. 
        Who shot you? Anyway, I'll be at the hospital sometime tomorrow or the day thereafter. 



Isn't winter grand? 'Tis the season for sloth, so snuggle up, settle down, and enjoy the shortened days with a couple of appropriately titled songs. I can only hope that you aren't too busy to give them a listen.

Great Northern - Winter
Maps and Aliases - Winter

*

** Do I get to use silverware? If you have to ask, you aren't ready for the answer.
*** Dude, if you can't afford human food, hit the local pantry. 

Same Title, Different Song XV

Tonight's battle isn't the slightest bit fair.

Allow me to explain. All things considered, I think Ingrid Michaelson is a talented songstress yet the fact remains that pitting Michaelson's The Chain against the Fleetwood Mac song of the same name is a bit like having the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man face off against Godzilla. Sure, I have a soft spot in my heart for ye olde Stay Puft (and who in his or her right mind doesn't?) but the outcome is never in doubt. In other words, grab yourself some chocolate and graham crackers because there's going to be one hell of a s'mores opportunity coming up.

Fleetwood Mac - The Chain

Ingrid Michaelson - The Chain

Trivia

The first time I listened to Fleetwood Mac's Rumours was on LP as a kid, and being that kids like me are dumb, I mistakenly played side two first, thus resulting in my erroneous interpretation of The Chain as the album's opening song. To this very day, I tend to think of The Chain that way even though the adult in me knows better. Damn kids.

Same Title, Different Song XIV

Tonight's matchup pits eternal teenager Tommy Lee, better known as the drummer from Mötley Crüe or to some of our more discerning readers, as the "Fuck, Lover, I fucking love you" guy from one of the many Pamela Anderson sex tapes against Seattle act Minus the Bear, better known as just another band from Seattle.

Minus the Bear - Hold Me Down

Tommy Lee - Hold Me Down

As to which song is superior, ladies and gentlemen, I think it's best to leave such weighty proclamations up to the King of Kings.

Same Title, Different Song XIII

As you can see, one of the contestants this evening is none other than PK mainstay The Killers so it would seem as if this were a one-sided affair and indeed it is, though ironically, not in favor of Brandon Flowers & Co.

XTC - Runaways
The Killers - Runaways

There are two reasons for this. First, XTC's Runaways has a crazy, sexy, cool slow-burn effect going on. Second, I tend to hold grudges when it comes to music.* If that divulgence blew you away, I'll give you a moment to get your face back in working order. Ready? Okay, here's the deal. Way, way back in 2010 (like, back when I contributed to mediocre music blogs), The Killers canceled the Asian leg** of their world tour. They had their reasons, sure, but that isn't the issue anyway. The problem is the bullshit line they fed ticket holders of "We'll reschedule as soon as possible." No you fucking didn't, and you never will; but what you were more than happy to do (or allow someone else to do) is refuse to refund the tickets and they weren't exactly cheap.

Long story short, I say the Killers lose. Maybe I'm wrong.

* Is that a thing? If not, it is now.
** Not to be confused with fried chicken or Harumi Nemoto. 

Same Title, Different Song XII

Contrary to what the dyslexic, malnourished denizens of Candy Land would have you believe, I am neither dead nor disaffected with the kimchi 'round these parts. First things first, I love kimchi, even if yours stinks; and secondly, were I to venture into the great beyond, you'd have no one to keep you company, so it stands to reason that the two of us have a great deal of touching, clicking, and transference to accomplish.

Hey, come closer, kid. I have something to show you; something that tastes like scrambled signals and scrambled eggs combined while the static, it pricks the skin better than it sounds.

Now that we're closer than ever before, press an ear against the screen, listen carefully, and tell me when your brain has grown numb, for that is the best time to show people what's really cool.

The Airborne Toxic Event - Numb
Barcelona - Numb
Envy on the Coast - Numb
Linkin Park - Numb

Same Title, Different Song XI

Though it may come as a surprise to longtime readers of this hallowed blog, the topic of this post is not Helen Slater, for while Ms. Slater is many things (awesome, for starters*) invincible isn't one of them - which is a shame, really, but box office receipts are the bread and butter of actors and actresses. Nevertheless, invincibility is the matter at hand, and Helen Slater has a role to play, one I'll get back to in a moment or five.

In a classic case of metropolitan rivalry, we have Chicago's very own OK Go going head-to-head with New York City's Pat Benatar for control of the term itself. Now, I won't divulge which of the two songs I prefer but the appearance of Helen Slater** should give you a big, almost legendary hint.

OK Go - Invincible
Pat Benatar - Invincible


* See also, perfect.
** When they finally come to destroy the Earth, they'll have to go through Slater first.

Same Title, Different Song X

Today's competition is a monster; specifically, a genetically engineered beast of a match-up designed by top Soviet scientists exploiting the very best in sports, sport-based, and sporty technology. To sum things up in a single word, I give you...


DRAGO!


On the slight chance that you actually grew up in a place like the Soviet Union, North Korea, or Newfoundland (and thus had no access to popular culture) here's five of the greatest minutes in cinematic history to help you get up to speed.



Now that your life has been enhanced by 53.5% you're ready for today's music. First up, Australian electronic band Cut Copy's single, 'Hearts on Fire', followed by the nostalgia-fueled juggernaut produced by John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band. Stallone would be proud.

Cut Copy - Hearts on Fire
John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band - Hearts on Fire

Trivia
Back in 1988, PK's very own Harrison Forbes trained for weeks in the cold Burlington wilderness (climbed mountains, lifted ox carts full of elderly people, got shouted at by his dead friend's trainer, etc.) for the sole purpose of opening a jar of spaghetti sauce while shouting PREGO! True story. 

Same Title, Different Song IX

Music is business. Serious business, of course, as the thing first coming to mind in the presence of Duran Duran and Gwen Stefani is serious, possibly even dead serious. My question, however impertinent it may be, pertains to whether or not business is good, as in seriously good because, really now, are either of these songs particularly good and, furthermore, are either of them as serious as the scene depicted above? That's pretty fucking serious, if you ask me.


Duran Duran - Serious

Gwen Stefani - Serious

Same Title, Different Song VIII

Hey yooooooooooou guys!

Today's battle centers around the age-old desire for European supremacy. In one corner, we have Pink Floyd, renowned progressive rockers hailing from England, while across the narrow stands German glam rock band Tokio Hotel.

At first glance, this contest would appear the biggest of no-brainers. I mean, it's Pink Floyd, right? Riiiiight? Yeah, I suppose, but then again, hasn't the song in question been played to death at this point? I'm not saying it's a bad song by any means, but after hearing it on the radio in excess of 62,347 times it has lost some of its appeal. Granted, if you're anything like my brother and believe that rock music ceased to exist sometime in the mid-Eighties (with the proliferation of Poison, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, Ratt, etc.) then by definition, Pink Floyd is the only choice.

Then again, Tokio Hotel isn't exactly the greatest band in the history of the universe (and neither is the song) so...


Pink Floyd - Hey You

Tokio Hotel - Hey You

Same Title, Different Song VII

When times get tough, you have to fight fire with fire! Dolemite Dyno-MITE! Dynamite, napalm, flamethrower - whatever it takes to get the job done. In this case, it's a Midwestern state of the U.S.A. (pop. 2, 871, 238) against an aging, hollowed-out metal band which takes itself way too seriously.

Kansas - Fight Fire with Fire
Metallica - Fight Fire with Fire

Today's guest referee is none other than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and to the winner goes...

...The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man! Either way, everyone's a winner!*





* Unless you hate marshmallows; in which case, you were probably abused a child.**

** That's rich, coming from someone having both Kansas and Metallica in their music library. ***

*** Touché, sir or madam. 

Same Title, Different Song VI

If there's one thing that never seems to go out of fashion in these modern times, it's the Devil. Novels, television, video games, pornography, small-claims courts; you name it, he does it, and music is no exception. People can't get enough of him, which in this case is rather peculiar considering that, metaphors aside, I can't imagine a great number of people waiting in line to dance with the guy, and even if there were, it's not like he's Patrick Swayze or anything, and even if he were, I've already put Baby in the corner so there will be no dancing here, devil worshippers.

Breaking Benjamin - Dance with the Devil

The Sounds - Dance with the Devil

Same Title, Different Song V

Before Kenny Ortega tanked his career with Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier was a favored gladiator in the arena rock circuit, and I'll be the first to admit that the volume got cranked up whenever Squier came on the radio, and by 'up' I mean 'way the fuck up' but people don't listen to the radio much anymore, nor is arena rock all that popular these days, so it should come as no surprise to see an alternative band come along with a song bearing the same title. Now, the times, they may be a-changin' but Billy's going to break out the pastel shirt and silk sheets for one last round and woe be to those he finds in the dark.

Billy Squier - In the Dark
Dead Confederate - In the Dark

Same Title, Different Song IV

The word hurricane may evoke thoughts of something powerful, sweeping, dramatic, destructive, compelling, uncontrollable, pitiless, and beautiful; as it should, given its status as a meteorological force of nature. If a song takes the moniker unto itself, one would hope that it bears similarities of some kind to its namesake. In this case, we have two such melodies but the real question is, do they stack up? You, Defrosted Reader, must judge for yourself.*

Athlete - Hurricane

30 Seconds to Mars - Hurricane


* And judge for me, too while you're at it since I don't know shit about music. 

Gleiche Titel, (Ein Wenig) Anderes Lied

Things are a bit different today since, technically, one is a cover of the original song but hey, rules were meant to be bent (if not broken) in favor of German bands singing about Japan.

Alphaville - Big in Japan

Guano Apes - Big in Japan

Now it's history, you see? Just promise not to sleep by my side.

Same Title, Different Song III

Once again, it's time for two songs to play Russian Roulette and the stakes couldn't be higher because it's Empire vs. Empire and to the winner goes the known universe!

Kasabian - Empire

Queensryche - Empire

...

I don't know about you, but a universe run by either Kasabian or Queensryche seems like it would be a pretty fucked-up place - unless I get to be a biker scout, bounty hunter, or bounty-hunting biker scout* that is; in which case, okay.



* Here's an image that exemplifies the greatness of such a concept.

Same Title, Different Song II

Unlike people, songs with the same name never seem to get along very well. You won't find songs playing pool, shooting hoops, vandalizing public property, attending potlucks, volunteering at soup kitchens, etc. anytime soon because that's not how songs roll. If anything, songs with the same name are inclined to settle disputes in classic Bartertown fashion and I, for one, applaud the finality of such approaches because notions of due process, justice, and compassion are grand in theory yet there comes a time when you have to make a deal with Tina Turner or get your hulking, mentally-challenged underling killed, leaving you a slave in the methane refinery.*

El-P - Blood

Pearl Jam - Blood



* And don't you dare pretend this story is anything but universal.

Same Title, Different Song

David Cronenberg directed a film called Crash about people who get off on vehicular accidents. Paul Haggis, eight years later, directed a film with the same title, about racism (or a racist film about racism, if you ask a cynical white person), in 2004.

Certainly, Haggis wasn't trying to fool viewers, in The Asylum tradition, into thinking that his film was related to Cronenberg's critically acclaimed-yet-little-seen movie, but he at least must have known that a film with the same title existed. And he didn't give a shit.

Neither did Jay-Z and Kanye West, I imagine, give a second thought when they pilfered the title "Welcome to the Jungle" from Guns N' Roses.

I care, though. Tonight, after typing "good vibrations" on YouTube's (shitty, advertising-driven) search, the first page of results were a pagan mix of the Beach Boys's classic song and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's early 90's hit.

So, a song fight. In one corner, Brian Wilson and company; in the other, Mark Wahlberg and his bunches funky.

The stake? Song title ownership. Forever.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eSN8Cwit_s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCeD_6Y3GQc