Six Shots till Summation: Prophylactic Panic!

Contracted (2013)

On the one hand, Eric England's Contracted sometimes comes across as a seventy-eight minute warning against having unprotected sex with strange people met at parties, but on the other, I'm mostly okay with that because actress Najarra Townsend does an excellent job with what she's been given, which happens to be a particularly nasty sexually transmitted disease and a script that basically itemizes her onscreen deterioration.

Trivia

Watching the opening credits, I noticed that a Dave Holmes was listed as a supporting cast member, and I couldn't help but ask myself, You mean, as in Dave Holmes the MTV VJ? Turns out, the answer is yes. 

Six Shots till Summation: Taekwon! Taekwon!

Miami Connection (1987)

It's a film about friendship, family, cocaine, ninja bikers, a truly international band, rock music and taekwondo, sometimes all at once. Oh, and breaking boards, that too. In other words, Miami Connection is the film you've been dying to see your entire life.

Trivia

Not that a viewer would notice, but none of the guys involved with this film are professional actors.

Bonus Round

Have I mentioned the killer soundtrack? You can find it here. 

Six Shots till Summation: A Matter of Predation

Manhunter (1986)

The first adaption of a Thomas Harris novel, in this case Red Dragon. While Anthony Hopkins may not be present, there's more than enough of a young, non-beerbellied William Peterson to go around. (You wouldn't know it from looking at these pictures, folks, but trust me, he's in the film.)

Trivia

Readers might recognize the film's director, Michael Mann, from such movies as Collateral, The Last of the Mohicans, and Heat. Conversely, for those familiar with atrocious, kidney-punching cinema, he might be recognized as the director of The Keep. 

Six Shots till Summation: A Game of Quarters

House (1977)

Not sure what to say about this film other than "Yes, that's a dune buggy full of bananas" and "No, I haven't the slightest idea what a dune buggy full of bananas is supposed to mean."

Trivia

Apparently, director Nobuhiko Obayashi drew upon his prepubescent daughter's notion of horror for the film and believe me, it shows.

Bonus Round!

Obayashi is also known for directing the ever-popular, ever-awesome Mandom commercials.

Six Shots till Summation: That Girl is Kooky

Lovely Molly (2012)

Director Eduardo Sanchez caught me off guard with this, a low-budget character study fueled by the excellent performance of actress Gretchen Lodge. Admittedly, the plot leaves something to be desired but the atmosphere of underlying dread makes up for it.

Trivia

Actor Johnny Lewis, who portrayed the titular character's husband, died after falling from the roof, garage, or patio of a home owned by an elderly woman named Caroline Davis. Police suspect that Lewis murdered Davis just prior to his own death, although investigators have yet to establish a motive. (link)

Six Shots till Summation: You Can't Do That on Television!

Videodrome (1983)

"The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye."

Death to Videodrome! Long live the new flesh!

Trivia

In this, the Internet Age, it appears that the Cathode Ray Mission has expanded its operations to include computers, alongside television, to further the goals of one Professor Brian O'Blivion.

Six Shots till Summation: Rage in a Cage

Werewolf in a Women's Prison (2006)

You may be thinking to yourself, Women? Werewolf? Prison? Awesome! and you'd be correct -in theory, at least- because everyone loves exploitation films but alas, ideals and reality don't always click as well as, say, Harrison Forbes and dachshund genitalia. This film is one such example of that sad fact. For a B-movie it's not all that bad, but when I see a title like Werewolf in a Women's Prison I expect that shit to be golden like King Midas' feces. On the upside, it's refreshing to see a werewolf willing to hit the gym seven days a week just to play a lupine Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hey, have I mentioned that the werewolf in this film is totally ripped? Because it totally is.

Six Shots till Summation (L'Edition Étrange)

I'm not sure what to say about La Bête other than it's a strange, strange film. Long story short, a well-to-do young Englishwoman by the name of Lucy Broadhurst (yeah, I said Broadhurst) travels to a quaint estate nestled within the hinterlands of France to meet and subsequently marry a man who has the property to match her wealth. Unfortunately, the situation is not as it initially appears; and by that, I mean things are fucking weird. 

To answer the inevitable question: Yes, I kept the pictures relatively tame, for I'd rather not spoil all the magic contained within the film's celluloid folds. In answer to your second question: Yes, the second picture depicts a woman pleasuring herself with a bed frame. 


What does it all mean? Damned if I know.