The White Stripes, Icky Thump -- Review

For once in my god-forsaken life, I'm going to post a review of an album before everybody and their grandmothers have had a chance to listen to it. This, naturally, entails "creative procurement." Oh like you don't do it also.







It's hot and humid, so let's delve into the tracks before I loose any more energy/will to live:



Icky Thump

As previously mentioned, this is inarguably the best White Stripes song yet created. Says me. Released over a month ago, I've had to regulate the number of times I hear it, lest I overplay it and start to get sick of it. Sorta like 'People as Places as People' by Modest Mouse. That once-lovely song has suddenly turned into a cold bitch on me. By the way, why doesn't Jack White just go ahead and release a 90-minute album of him going nuts on the guitar? Like you wouldn't buy it*.

You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)

This sounds like the perfect wake up song. I'm telling you, if this is the first thing you hear in the morning, it is scientifically impossible for you to have a bad day. Believe me. No one sounds like he's having as much fun in rock music as Jack White does, from his singing to sublime guitar wielding. Ironic, I suppose, if The White Stripes are to be classified as blues.

300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues

Starts off with a nice acoustic melody. A lot more mellow than the first two tracks. I've never admired the complexity of Meg White's drums (but, boy, she can bang the shit out of those mothers), however, in a subdued way, she manages to impress me here with a versatility I've never heard/noticed before. The interspersed electric guitar wailings are actually a tad distracting on this, which is weird, because I fucking love interspersed guitar wailings. It's the acoustic guitar that makes this one. Is it just me, or are White's lyrics a lot less "cheesy old-fashioned" and a lot more "genuinely old-fashioned" on this? Fuck, I think a spider just bit my foot.

Conquest

This sounds like a mash-up between an Ennio Morricone spaghetti western score and the opening song for a Bond film. Not particularly a fan, surprisingly. The brief horn/guitar battle near the 2-minute mark is fucking aces, though. I think White was going for a level of deliberate corniness here, but he failed to hit the mark. Them's the breaks; even Prince Paul has his misses. Thankfully, this is short.

Bone Broke

Back to a more garage rock vibe. "I got another job at the liquor store. Damn!" The pace switchup after the first verse is killer. As is the 'nother switchup at the end of the 2nd. As far as pure rock-out moments go, this is the pinnacle of the "CD" so far. The next time I'm on that dust, I'm gonna put this one on repeat for about 15 hours.

Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn

Bagpipes! And a banjo! I'm not one for drinking songs (when I'm drunk, I like to listen to my upstairs neighbors screw; if they ever get an air conditioner and close their windows in the summer, my life will cease to have meaning), but this would make the perfectest tune to cheerfully quaff pints to. Forgive me: I'm picturing a band of hobbits dancing atop a wooden table.

St. Andrew (This Battle Is In The Air)

Like a cocaine-induced coda of the previous track. Meg White likes helium, apparently. I like Meg White**.

Little Cream Soda

One, two, three, four...duhn, duhn, duhn, duhnna, duhn, duhn, duhn, duhnna. Great opening. A Jack White guitar clinic in the vein of 'Ball and Biscuit.' (I think it's 'Ball and Biscuit,' anyway. Song titles in The White Stripes' oeuvre are oftentimes interchangeable.)

Rag And Bone

See?

Alternately amazing and silly. I found 'It's True That We Love One Another' from Elephant annoying, but a similar theme works here. You know what bugs me, though? That Meg White gets what I like to call the Flavor Flav treatment. It's okay that she doesn't get her own track and a few vocal performances on every White Stripes album, trust me. Or was that part of the divorce settlement?

I'm Slowly Turning Into You

'Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground, 'There's No Home For You Here,' 'For Her (Is Over For Me),' and now 'I'm slowly Turning Into You.' These songs are as similar as the Baldwin Brothers. 'There's No Home For You Here' is Alec, by the way. 'I'm Slowly Turning Into You'? Stephen. But not "Bio-Dome" Stephen -- more "The Usual Suspects" Stephen.

A Martyr For My Love For You

Is it just me, or does this sound eerily similar, upon opening, to something Everlast might have recorded circa Whitey Ford Sings the Blues? Maybe I'm tripping. But I doubt it. (I actually like Whitey Ford Sings the Blues, by the way.) This kicks ace all over the place. When the pace -- and organ and drums -- pick up after the 2-minute mark, I get goose bumps...sorry, I mean I get chicken skin***. I don't think White has ever done anything so...emo? While great, I can't say I'm thirsty for more. Like I'm not eager for Will Ferrell to pursue more dramatic roles, or for butter to get jealous of margarine and decide that it's time to start cutting down on the calories. At least it sounds honest. I once won the lottery.

Catch Hell Blues

"If you're looking for hot water, don't act shocked when you get burned a little bit." While perhaps unintentional, this sounds like a b-boy version of the blues. "Try to catch me!" White shouts while his guitar maniacally screams. It's as though he's saying, "Yeah, but can you do THIS? Thought not." Tough to call it an actual song, 'Catch Hell' is more like a virtuoso guitarist telling his peers they eat gruel for breakfast while he scoffs down steak and eggs. Jack White IS hip-hop!

Effect and Cause

Lyrics, somebody want lyrics? Love the wordplay. "I didn't rob a bank because you made up the law." "If you're heading to the grave, you don't blame the hearse." Good closer. Word to Tom Henke.

___

Conclusion 1: It is a fantastic album. That said, it's not better than Get Behind Me Satan****, Elephant, or White Blood Cells. Maybe it's better than The White Stripes and De Stijl, but I wouldn't know. Because I only got into them when they hit the mainstream. Now, if you will forgive me, I'm going to listen to Goodie Mob's first two albums so that I can neutralize my latter-day conformist tendencies.

Then I'm going to snort angel dust.

Conclusion 2: 4/5 *_*

Conclusion 3: That spider bite really fucking hurts.




* Creatively procure it, I mean.

** 's breasts

*** Because while Psychedelic Kimchi isn't a blog about Korea per se, I can't ignore my influences. I've lived here nearly a quarter of my life. Jesus, I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

**** Blame The White Stripes for making me embarrassed to ask for CD's in record shops. I'm convinced their next album will be titled "I Ran Out of Toilet Paper."