The 2006 Posse Draft - Part Deuce

The motherfucking saga continues... [part one here]

With the eleventh pick, Sparkles selects:
11. Prince Paul (Funny Man)

Sparkles:
The Doo Doo Man!

In addition to having three of the game's most top-notch and avant garde producers, I also own the only guy who ever made decent album skits. Watch out now!

PS - The Vegas odds on who the first white MC to be drafted currently look like this:
Aesop Rock: 2-1
Sage Francis: 4-1
Slug: 8-1
Cage: 10-1
Zach de la Rocha: 25-1
Mike Shinoda 100-1

Denz responds:
Damn, nice pick. I'm going to be man enough to state that it didn't even occur to me. And you're right, with Prince Paul (and ghostface!) I'm going to get killed on skits like Ace at the Lyricist Lounge.

With the twelfth pick, Denz selects:
12. Fatlip (comedy relief)

Denz:
I'll let the "What's up Fatlip?" flimclip speak on this one.

Sparkles responds:
You're drafting crackheads now? Heh.

Seriously, I like dude. Always have. He had the potential to be one of the illest left coast MCs, alongside such luminaries as Del, Gift of Gab, Aceyalone, and, um, Skee-Lo? But if you're hoping he'll turn around a disappointing career this late in the game, you've got a longer wait ahead of you than me ordering a vanilla shake at a BK in Busan. Fat Lip is hip-hop's Eddie Griffin: a stud with so much promise, yet so few results. Although to my knowledge FL never crashed his SUV while masturbating to porn. But there's still time.

With the thirteenth pick, Denz selects:
13. Edan (token white guy)

Denz:
With the 13th pick, the New York Knicks select Renaldo Balkman... As you mentioned, the board is stacked with low-odd whiteboys, but I'm going to switch it up.

Every year I like to take a flyer on at least one player in my fantasy drafts. I think its a great way to add a little personal drama to a season. If the player is a bust, you at least took a punt. On the flipside, if the player has a career year, you get recognised (and hated) by your fellow league managers. Sure, it never works out, but for some reason it makes me happy. Might be a Knucks thing.

As an interesting aside, the sleepers I usually pick end up having career years... in their next season. By that time I hate them and refuse to draft them. It's a cruel world. And yes, fuck you Willis McGahee.

With that in mind, I'm again going to pull an Isiah and draft Edan. After all, every team needs a quadruple threat guy who looks weird like Andre Kirilenko. It took me a few listens to get Primitive Plus, but the proto-old school feel had me hooked eventually, and the Ultra 88 homage was hilarity personified. Beauty and the Beat was a classic, albeit an indy one. And that eerie voice sample from Fumbling Over Words that Rhyme is still stuck in my head.

Given my current luck with sleepers, look for a standout LP from Edan in 2007-08.

Sparkles responds:
Didn't see that one coming, but you really don't have to rationalize the pick that much, at least not to me. I dig the guy (what little of his stuff I've heard), and you've added another gifted producer. As an MC he's [Jay-Z voice] ehhhhh; but you could have done a lot worse. You could have drafted David Faustino, aka D Lil' (Bud from Married With Children; and why is it his video isn't on YouTube? Fucking injustice is what that is).

(Honestly, I'm confident that if my next four picks were The D.O.C., Shorty Shitstain, Princess Superstar, and a random Young Black Teenager, I could still run this league -- but I've had fantasy team delusions of grandeur before. Remember the team I drafted in last season's fantasy basketball draft? For the readers: I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that Marvin Williams, Mike Dunleavy Jr., and Jim Jackson were prominently involved. Predictably, I didn't make the playoffs, but on draft night I remember thinking smugly to myself 'This is a great team!' The lesson, as always, is that I'm full of shit.)

With the fourteenth pick, Sparkles selects:
14. Cage (Token White Guy)

Sparkles:
I'm a bigger fan of Aes Rizzle, but he wouldn't have been a good fit on this team. Cage on the other hand meshes perfectly with everyone I've drafted so far. My question is, where does Aesop Rock going undrafted rank amongst the Biggest WTF moments in white guy Posse Draft history?

I suppose, technically, I could still choose him with my remaining flex pick -- but 2 slices of white bread are enough for this sandwich.

Denz responds:
A nice safe pick, and you're right, fits better than the three wise whitemen of Aesop, Sage and Sluggo. Still, I feel a little uneasy about Cage. I think hiss old shit was... well... wack. Hell's Winter is gold man, but fuck... who's to say he doesn't end up being the next MC Jerome James?

This just in, Aesop is weeping in the green room with Rashard Lewis.

With the fifteenth pick, Sparkles selects:
15. Lupe Fiasco (Wingman/Protége)

Sparkles:
Truth be told, these days I overlook a lot of (read: most) up-and-coming cats, but from what I've heard Lupe -- despite ostensibly taking inspiration for his stage name from a middle-aged Hispanic housekeeper -- deserves the attention he's getting. I absolutely hated him on Kanye's Testify (save for "I'm tryin' to stop lyin' like I'm Mumra."

That was pretty dope. Almost Commonesque, in fact), but he's really impressed me with what he's dropped since. Peep his MySpace page here: http://myspace.com/lupefiasco. Then peep the World Trade Center's page: http://www.myspace.com/wtcfilm. In the history of this young century's greatest ideas, that has to rank nowhere fucking near.

Denz responds:
I've got three Lupe tracks on my itunes, so I can't entirely judge the pick. What I will say is that it might be a posse man, but your homeboys all sound like they mainline fucking helium. You better draft Floyd Landis with your flex or your average testosterone count is going to be lower than Boston Corbett's.

Seriously though, I'll buy the album when he drops it.

With the sixteenth pick, Denz selects:
16. Subroc (Dead Homeboy)

Denz:
Hey MF Doom, you need a shave and a haircut?

Sparkles responds:
This is your most surprising pick. I love Mr. Hood, but really, don't you think you could have picked someone better? Scott La Rock? Biggie? Hell, even the recently departed Jay-Dilla had more positive contributions to hip-hop music than 'Roc -- even though he did make A Tribe Called Quest suck and caused their break-up.

Denz:
Three years from now, MF Doom's contract is up. Now, if only Isiah thought like me.

With the seventeenth pick, Denz selects:
17. Amerie (Female "MC")

Denz:
Sure, Amerie doesn't exactly rap per se, but have you seen her pins in the 1 thing video? She gets my vote on Saturday mornings when I'm watching the music channel. 1 thing, incidentally, is a great track. At least, it appears to be - I usually watch the music channel with the sound down. Anyway, judging from her collabs with Royce, Nas and... erm... Ricky Martin, Amerie has the rep to walk... on those legs. Wait, what was I saying?

Go ahead, pick Jean Grae. You'll need the testicles.

Sparkles responds:
I'm not familiar with her work. Seriously, I ignore with extreme prejudice any song featuring Amerie, Ashanti, Akon, or any other single-name A-holes.

With the eighteenth pick, Sparkles selects:
18. Rah Digga (Female MC)

Sparkles:
She could be dead for all I know, but Rah -- along with Shorty No Mas -- is quite possibly the only female MC I've ever really dug (even though I did buy Yo-Yo's Black Pearl the summer before I started high school. Please don't tell anyone).

Come to think of it, the dearth of talented female rappers deserves its own post one of these days. As does what I ate for dinner last night (hint: it rhymes with grandwich).

PS - since you bent the rules for your pick, I was really, really tempted to take Debbie Harry. Or my daughter. She's got more skills than Apkujeong's got plastic surgeons.

Denz:
Um... this is sort of like commenting on a kicker pick in football leagues. Let's just agree that drafting female MCs is like drafting drying paint and never speak of this again.

With the nineteenth, Sparkles selects:
19. Black Thought (Flex)

Sparkles:
Saving my flex pick for last, I had a ton of options here (Dre, Common, Terrence Howard), but Thought seems the most natural and best fit. Since he got his solo album (aka The Roots' The Tipping Point) out of his system, here's hoping that the crew's new LP, The Game Theory (here's my The Game theory: he doesn't have a label because of 50 Cent. Just a hunch), is a return to the fantastic Roots albums of old, rather than the prettygoodokaynotbadactually kindadisappointing sound of their last record.

Denz:
Nice closer. A man has to end with a good pick. Thought isn't going to blow anyone away, but he's a solid number two and the sort of cat you want on your team, for sure. Mike Redd in a nutshell.

With the final pick in the draft, Denz selects:
20. KRS One (Fat Guy)

Denz:
With the MF Doom precedent set, I draft Lawrence Parker from the South Bronx as my overweight guy.

I now have three proven MCs. Two of whom have at one time been the best in the business. Three phenomenal producers. One a definite first ballot hall of famer. An amazing singer. A Darlene-esque set of legs and MC Shawn Kemp.

What more needs to be said? Other than:

The real hip hop is ova here.

Sparkles:
The first shall be last. Fitting.

All in all, I'm very happy with my team: One of the most creative, best-selling hip-hop stars in history; a maverick producer and rabid solialist; the epitome of slang-splattered, abstract rhymes (no disrespect to Keith Thornton), and his heir apparent; one of the illest producers and master of the hip-hop concept album; hip-hop's Jason Williams (White Chocolate, not Manslaughter); Young Zee's wife; and Malik B's conscience.

If my team were a pizza, it'd be a Little Caesar's cheese crust with every topping, including magic mushrooms. And a side-order of Crazy Bread.

PS - Dre and Jay-Z went undrafted! Zut alors!

PPS - My team name is Turkey Bacon.

Denz:
Aiight. And I'm the Whitey Fjords.