Memory Lane (IX)

After returning from Pearson airport for the 2nd time in just over 12 hours, the first thing I wanted to do was take a nice, long walk in the forest behind my parents' home. After the marathon of sleep depravation I'd just been through, only making up 5 measly hours the night prior, I had a painfully acute headache; but this nature hike was somehow very important to me. I had to know if my virgin Mary statues filled with heroin remained where I had hidden them years before.

But really, after having spent the past two years cooped up in the concrete confines of Seoul, walking into the shade of the canopy and smelling the grass, trees, flowers, soil and fresh air was like a cup of cool water to a long-parched throat.

We walked for about 10 minutes, until my wife spotted a family of racoons living in a hollow tree. We took them home and ate them. Seriously though, not long after that discovery, we came across a placid-looking mother deer standing directly in our paths. It was as though someone or something was sending me a message: welcome home. Whenever my wife is asked about her first trip to Canada, that's the anecdote she invariably relates. I on the other hand slightly embellish the tale, claiming that it wasn't a female deer but rather a buck, and that, soon after we first espied it, a tiger ran out of the brush, and both creatures stood on their hind legs to embrace in a hug so beautiful it cannot faithfully be depicted in story nor art.

The next order of business was to hop in the car (a 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix, if it matters) and head over to Burger King for a Whopper w/cheese, large fries (yes, they have BK in Korea, but, like human flesh, the fries back home are a billion times tastier; there's really no comparison), a large vanilla milkshake and an angioplasty on the side. As you can tell, this was a very high priority.

Afterwards, we bought tickets to see Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, which had recently opened. I spent half of the movie clutching my throbbing cranium, which hurt worse than I've ever felt it, before or since. Because of the jet lag, not George Lucas's shitty dialogue. Thought I should clear that up.

Then we drove to the mall and I picked up DJ Shadow's sophomore CD.

Then we drove to Rogers Video and I rented Halloween, and was asked to show ID as proof that I was over 18. Again, welcome home.

Then I bought a case of Labbatt's Blue at The Beer Store (oddly, no need to show ID there), ordered Little Caesars pizza, and got drunk with my brother while watching the Lakers/Kings Western Conference semifinals.

And things of a similar nature as those described above went on for another 4 and a half months.

Oh, Canada.