Take Another Little Piece of My Heart

With the World Cup and NBA Finals in full swing, let me ask you a truly important sports question: if you were making 13 million dollars a year and batting .206 would you feel good about yourself? Would you be able to sleep at night knowing that you make more than fucking Ichiro but are barely keeping your head above the Mendoza-line? Or would you think that you should give some of that money back? Maybe not give it back, per se--the owners probably have plenty of money, but maybe give some of it to a long-suffering Mariners fan who has to watch you every fucking day.

Also, who does Mike Morse have to sleep with to crack the line-up? Do we really have such a Murderers' Row where a guy who gets a hit and an RBI every time he comes to the fucking plate can't crack the line-up? We know what Bloomquist and Reed can do; they are no longer prospects. They just are what they are and they suck. Both of them should be traded (I'd say trade Sexson too but nobody would be stupid enough to take him) and Mike Morse should be our everyday center-fielder and some of the young guys from Tacoma should start getting chances for at-bats in the Majors.

We now return you to sports events that actually matter, already in progress.