Who Knew

I thought if I'm going to fit in around here I better start writing about basketball, and what better time than the NBA Playoffs. I mean those are rife with...something.

Michael Jordan is awesome. Michael doesn't play anymore? Well, it's just a matter of time until he comes back again. There's still Magic and Larry. No Magic and Larry? Shaq still around? A plodding visage of what he once was, you say? Well, that's just a goddamn shame.

Look, if you read my personal blog (http://anamericanwerewolfinseoul.blogspot.com) you would probably think that I know little to nothing about basketball. Oh, I write about sports. I write about football occassionally, baseball feverishly and Mixed Martial Arts religiously, but basketball doesn't get a lot of run. And you may think this is out of ignorance, but nothing could be further from the truth. I'm sorry to say that from age 10 to about age 15, basketball was about all I did, and at that time I was so sick of it that now, ten years later, I still have absolutely no desire to return to the game either as a participant or a spectator. Familiarity, as the saying goes, breeds contempt.

But that doesn't mean that when something does manage to pierce my carefully constructed insulation from the game that I can't comment on it insightfully, and, to that end, let's take a look at the most recent events surrounding Ron Artest.

Because we all know people like Ron Artest. Ridiculously talented. Gifted beyond belief. And crazy as a loon. And these kinds of guys will always carry you just so far until they find the exactly perfect time to pull the rug out from under you and crush your spirit. Artest did it last year to the Pacers when he ruined their 2004-2005 season going into the stands after a fan and getting summarily suspended for the rest of the year. He did it again, when, at the start of this season with the Pacers finally trying to put the "Malice in the Palace" behind them, he requested a trade (probably about two weeks after Larry Legend was quoted in Sports Illustrated trying to help with the guy's image rehab; how's that for gratitude). And now, just as the lovefest for Artest was really starting to get under way in Sacramento (where Artest was eventually traded by the Pacers) he goes and gets himself suspended for elbowing Manu Ginobli in a game the Kings went on to lose.

So now the Kings, already down one-to-nothing in a best of seven series, have to play Game 2 without one of their best players.

This is why when sports executives tell you character doesn't matter you should just shake your head in disbelief. Ask my brother. He's a Portland Traiblazers fan. And don't tell me about the Raiders. When the Raiders were winning they had characters, not assholes or egomaniacs. And now that they've forgotten how to tell the difference they do things like sign Randy Moss and have him not catch a single touchdown all year.

Speaking of my brother, when our basketball careers were grinding to a halt at an inner-city Seattle high school there was a kid there at the same time as us, and this kid was ridiculously talented. But he did stupid things like steal shit, get in fights and disrespect instructors, which is a really bad idea when the teacher is an Irish Christian Brother and carries a ruler and no one has bothered to tell him it's not 1955 anymore.

And but so this kid flunked a lot of classes so he had to go to a year of prep school before any of the major colleges would look at him. Then he went to the University of Connecticut for a couple of years but was thrown out for stealing. Then he came back and had some decent years on the University of Washington just before that actually started to mean something.

And my brother just used to look at me and say, "Man, imagine if that kid had his head screwed on straight. He'd be unstoppable."
And I'd say to him, "That's just like saying 'Imagine if we had talent; we'd be unstoppable.' Not being a dumbshit is, in many ways, the greatest skill of all and obviously our friend hasn't mastered it any better than you and I have mastered the jump-shot."

So, long story short, all of you Sacramento Kings fans out there, I wouldn't hold your collective breath waiting for Ron to pull all that emotional baggage together and ship it somewhere. I'd say you're in for more of the same. I know you see the talent there; it's undeniable. And I know you want to believe that someday this guy could forget about rap labels, and being "disrespected" and drunk morons in Aisle 27 Seat 13. But I'm here to tell ya, it ain't going to happen.

If he got his head on straight he'd be unstoppable, but, then again, if my cat had wings she'd be a model plane.

You can find TMH blogging seven days a week at http://anamericanwerewolfinseoul.blogspot.com. -ed.