Spring Cleaning Pt. I (Howl's Moving Castle)

A few weeks ago I decided to stop procrastinating and finally motivate myself into viewing all of the unwatched DVDs cluttering my shelves. Some I've seen before, others I haven't; some I've owned for several weeks, others for close to three years (I'm looking at you, Once Upon a Time in America). Instead of giving a full review, my plan is to write a brief reaction to each film; and befitting the title of this post, they'll be hasty and I'll miss a bunch of things that in retrospect I'll regret later. So be it.

Roll Call:

Seven Samurai
Scarface
Once Upon a Time in America
Gangs of New York
Full Metal Jacket
2046
Casino
Kagemusha The Shadow Warrior
Taxi Driver

Howl's Moving Castle


I suppose I'm a Miyazaki Hayao moderate. I love Spirited Away like it's my left ventricle. Princess Mononoke is great, too, but the wheels sort of fall off at the end: save Haku (or whatever his name is) and his fucked-up deer, the film is full of dislikeable characters. The guy's a visionary, sure; but he's far from perfect.

Case in point: Howl's Moving Fucking Castle, a film that, at the one hour and thirteen minute mark, I was ready to declare one of the best films (animated, live-action or porno) I had ever seen. Then I hit the head, went out for a smoke, and sat down for the 2nd act. Ouch. The imagination (Miyazaki's) and wonderment (mine) of the film almost make up for its shortcomings, which is saying quite a lot, actually, but

That moving castle? That's a metaphor for the movie!

I'm willing to forgive most of the unanswered questions, such as where Howl picked up his kid apprentice, and all of the war stuff that is never fully explained. Ditto on the fact that a young girl, suddenly turned into an old woman, seeks exile instead of telling her friends and family "hey, remember me? I'm Sophie! You'll never believe this, but this fucking witch transformed me into an old woman! Help me!" Those who have seen the film will see a hole in this logic, but since Sophie transforms between old and young with little (sometimes it's a dream) or no explanation (she's young at the film's conclusion, magically), that little device is moot to me. She can write a note at least, can't she?

The plot is the real villian of this film. And [Don Corleone voice] that I can't forgive.

I won't reveal the ending (mostly because I still can't comprehend just how fucking lazy the producers were/are to allow it to go through), but if you've ever seen an episode of The Simpsons (there are quite a few such episodes) where they satirically make sure everything comes together at the last moment, you'll experience deja vu. Only Howl's ending isn't intended as comedy.

3/4 *_*