My untitled novel (excerpt 1)

For the past 2 years I have been working on an as-yet untitled* novel. Today I finished the book's final paragraph, and I have to admit that I'm quite fond and proud of what I've written.

As a service to you, Dear Reader, I've decided to periodically post here some passages of the novel that will soon set the literary world afire. Here's the opening paragraph. I think it's strikingly original:

In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticising anyone’, he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t been born with the gargantuan penis that you have.'

* Corduroy Grandmother, and Who Stole My Last Piece of Freedom? are some potential titles which I've been kicking around in my head for a while.