And A Riles Shall Lead Them

All this spinning is making me dizzy. So Stan the Hedgehog wants to spend more time with his fam. Yeah, and I'm Malcolm X's illegitimate grandson.

You got your job back, Mr. Riley. Now let's see if you can clean up the mess you made. Better it happen early on in the season.

Let's see if you can help make Antoine Walker a team player. Better start by telling him taking the ball cross court and keeping his head down while practicing his PG moves only to cough it up by bouncing the ball off his knee just won't cut it under the new order. In fact, tell him if he does that shit again (and you know he will -- he's Antoine Walker!) you'll trade him to the Bucks for Mo Williams and a large order of curly fries. If you can reign him in, Mr. Riley, I'll buy you a donut.

Next order of business: trade for a decent point guard. The two guys you have now are back-up dancers. One is on his last legs; the other has visions of grandeur and thinks he's a star. You signed them both, I believe. Again, pick up your toys. Call the Bucks and see if maybe they're willing to take one of them for Mo Williams. He could be the '05/'06 Damon Jones...with exponentially better nerves in clutch situations.

Remember what worked last year. Don't play James Posey and 'Toine at forwards when Udonis Haslem should be out there doing what he does best: being a role player. One thing you can improve upon from Van Gundy is realizing a working rotation. Stan had it fucked up since the beginning of November, for sure. I'm trusting that you will do better.

Finally, don't insult our collective intelligence and expect us to believe that Senior Hedgehog wanted out so he could spend more time with his family. You pushed him out. Admit it.

Now let's win some fucking ballgames.

Yours,

Sparkles*_*