The 2005 Sparklers (pt. zwei)

Worst Book I've Read This Year Award: A Confederacy of Dunces. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, I hated, hated, hated this book.

Strangest Dream I've Had Award: Yao Ming scores 73 points in a single game. I read ESPN.com many nights before bed, and when I woke up the next morning after this dream I wondered, in the shower, if it might be reality. I can believe some crazy shit before breakfast, boy.

Biggest Regret Award: my underestimating Boris Diaw. By the way, Diawg and TP need to team up, make a hip-hop album, and call it The French Connection.

Mot.

Biggest Disappointment Award: Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. The first 3/4 of the novel is vintage Murakami, right up there with his greatest novels. Too bad the final 1/4 totally shits the bed. Still, I'd recommend it.

Top Two Reasons I Am Completely Enamored by Han Chae-Young (aka the Korean Jennifer Love Hewitt) Award:




The Biggest Sonuvabitch Award: The cretin who stole my cell phone shortly after we moved. I hope a higher power gives him a nasty cold sore. And testicular cancer.

Funniest Parenting Moment Award: The little girl farting and blaming it on my wife. It never gets old -- unless you're my wife, I suppose.

Biggest Load of BS Award:

Ever since we started the Music Genome Project, our friends would ask:

Can you help me discover more music that I'll like?

Those questions often evolved into great conversations. Each friend told us their favorite artists and songs, explored the music we suggested, gave us feedback, and we in turn made new suggestions. Everybody started joking that we were now their personal DJs.

We created Pandora so that we can have that same kind of conversation with you.

Make that "we created Pandora so that we can get really fucking rich."

The thing's never heard of KMD or Lord Finesse? Sorry, I can't endorse it.

The "People Magazine Is Buggin'" Award: Vince Vaughn is runner-up as sexiest man alive? Have you fucking seen that guy!?



The "I Told You So" Award:

Sopranos star Lillo Brancato is a murder suspect:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1920545,00.html

This means I win an argument I once had with my brother, who swore that Robert DeNiro's son in the film A Bronx Tale was, in fact, DeNiro's real-life son.

You owe me 6 beers, Mike.