Das Experiment
Occasionally, I leave for work later than my wife does. This morning was such a day. I was not two steps outside before I realized I had forgotten to turn off the hot water, so I hastily (for I was already running late) ran back up the stairs, unlocked the front door, took off my shoes, and switched the control panel to off. Then I had a funny thought. I bet if I didn't just do that, [my wife's name] would be keen to point it out when I come home. In fact, I think she'd derive a certain perverse satisfaction doing so.
Leaving for the second time, I used my cell to call my wife on hers.
"Honey, can you pick up some Krispy Kremes on the way home? And by the way, I may have forgotten to turn off the hot water when I left earlier. Please check when you get home."
Reliably, when I called her an hour or so later and inquired, she confirmed that, yes, I did forget to turn off the hot water. Her tone was annoyance mixed with a hint of leniency. Just don't do it again, okay? she implied.
I'm likely not the first to theorize that most women enjoy pointing out a man's faults; and this post is by no means implying that women, in general, love to break a man's balls...even though we all know that's true. What I'm curious about is how this trait becomes so innate (my rhymes are great/I ate steak on a plate) that you gals don't even realize when you're doing it. Because I'm entirely certain that my wife did believe I had left the hot water on.
Or maybe I just have really freaky powers of suggestion.
You are getting verrrrry sleeeeepy. You are a chicken. When I snap my fingers, you will cluck like a chicken.
*snap*
6 comments:
I would have come up with a better use for hypnotising women than making them cluck.
Paying off my debts for me, just for an example.
"Anul Oil" is an anagram of Lunalio, you know. Forgive the liberty I took in spelling anal, but I figure it sounds the same when one says it.
Lesson 1: you're always wrong, even when you're right (which is -- of course -- always).
Lesson 2: That fragile ego certainly isn't going to stroke itself, now is it?
(both are from my upcoming book, entitled 'Men Are From Mars, Women are from Daejeon.' Look for it where finer books are sold.
As a posterchild for 'internet warrior,' you should be the last person to threaten people.
Lunalilo
Who's threatening what now? And what the fuck is an internet warrior?
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