"You got a bad name like Dick Butkus."

Remember that Seinfeld episode where George tells his fiance that, if they have a child, he'd like it -- boy or girl -- to be named Seven?

Did you know that the son of Andre 3000 and Erykah Badu is actually named Seven?

It's a silly name, in my opinion, but nowhere near as silly as this:

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=20646

Now, anyone who knows me might find it hypocritical to criticize the tragic naming of a child after a Japanese actor and the director of Star Wars. I, afterall, named my daughter after a comic book character. But here's the thing: since I was about 12 years old, I always loved that name. It wasn't the character (who is second-tier and pretty mediocre), rather the name. It's spelled beautifully and it sounds beautiful (anyone curious enough to know my daughter's name is encouraged to post a comment; I'll send you an e-mail if you're nice). I'm sorry, but "Toshiro Lucas McWeeny" just sounds dumb.

Don't get me wrong, I like Toshiro Mifune. If someone were to ask me who my favorite non-Hollywood actor is, it would without a doubt be him. And Lucas is my third-favorite Corey Haim movie. But, come on now, let's be sensible.

Drew McWeeny, aka Moriarty, writes regularly for Ain't it Cool News. He's an OK writer who sometimes comes off as a little too invested in the stuff he reviews, and, like all movie critics, he sometimes gives good press to horribly shitty movies (his positive review of the awful The Punisher (2004) springs to mind). He's thirty-five and lives in Los Angeles; he wrote the screenplay to the unfilmed Mortal Combat 3; he gets a lot of info -- often legit, often total bullshit -- on upcoming films and films in development. He writes with a knowledge of and genuine passion for movies, which sometimes obscures his credibility. He has been banned from George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch (an ironic middle name for the kid then, huh?) and has been called not-nice names by directors such as M. Night Shamalyan and fellow Internet movie critics (is that an oxymoron?).

Apparently he also has a penchant for giving goofy names to his offspring.

I like to think I'm a liberal-minded fellow, and that anyone on this planet should be able to name their child whatever they please. But for a white American to name his first son "Toshiro," that just reeks of dumbassedness. "Toshiro." Boy, he must have a very, very understanding wife.

Plus, with a surname like "McWeeny," you have to be extra careful when naming your kid. I'm sorry, but dude dropped the ball on this one. And telling the world via the Internet, especially via a site whose visitors are for the most part super-obsessive fanboys (myself not included, of course) who are quick to insult any and everyone, well, that's just downright stupid.

As a father, I wish him well. I sincerely hope his child grows up to become an intelligent and successful person. But someone has to put an end to this insane (and brazenly self-indulgent) trend of naming children after your favorite sports star, musician, actor, etc.

Especially if they're Japanese and you are not.