All thoughts are random...

"I just flew in from Paris. I masturbated on the flight over and boy are my arms tired."

Today I had the afternoon off, so I decided to carpe the diem and hit the basketball court down by the river. It's been raining almost non-stop for the past 2 weeks, so I haven't had a chance to play in a while. God, being a basketball fan, saw that I had the day off and miraculously cleared the skies. Thanks, God.

I played for 2 1/2 hours, then, smelling like an old dishrag, decided I'd spare the citizens of Bundang who ride public transit the torture of sitting near me on the bus, opting instead to walk home. Hell, the day was mine to do whatever I liked. And it may shock some of you to learn that I actually like walking. It gives me a chance to think about stuff such as what would happen if everybody on Earth jumped up and down at the same time, or what the streets would look like if you could see fluorescent yellow footprints wherever someone had stepped at any time in history.

But now I'm beat like a cameraman at the hands of Kenny Rogers. Knackered, as my non-North American friends might say. I feel like the elastic band in an old man's boxer shorts that has been stretched too far and won't snap back (how's that for an analogy?).

So I've decided to scrap my planned post on which 19th century literary figure I'd most like to have a homosexual relationship with (it's Thomas Mann), and am posting the following random thoughts while drinking beer instead:

- I got a sunburn today, and was wondering what the Korean version of "you're as red as a lobster" is.

"You look like a gochu." ?

- Common (nee Sense)'s new CD, Be, is being hailed by many music critics as a classic. Now, I know my classic hip-hop, and, I'm sorry, Be isn't a classic. It's good, great even; but I have to wonder what kind of cocaine XXL magazine and Hiphopsite.com are snorting when they gave the album their highest possible rating. Again, it's a good album, but it's more a good Kanye West album than a good Common album (West's The College Dropout IS a classic, by the way. Stop hating).

If you want to hear a classic Common album check out Resurrection, an album I'll go on the record as stating is better than Illmatic. That album has the best lyricism on a single record by a solo hip-hop artist ever. Be, however, continues in the tradition of Common's past 2 efforts in that the witty wordplay and double entendre is almost non-existent. In fact, it's nowhere to be found. What happened to the Common who penned lines such as "I'm as able as Kane to get raw" (translation: "I'm as Abel as (co)Caine to get raw"), "I dilate pupils that're cornea (cornier) than the retna," and so many others? Everytime I listen to Resurrection, over 10 years after its initial release, I still find something new, some wordplay I finally catch after the billionth listen.

Be is a good listen -- although a little too smooth at times -- and it's worth the purchase. I'm glad to see that it's selling like mad. After so long in the biz, dude deserves to go platinum. But while a lot of people are just now discovering him, Common's original fanbase sits and wonders if the Common of Resurrection (and to a certain extent both Can I Borrow a Dollar? and One Day It'll All Make Sense...) is gone for good. Sadly, it appears the answer is "yes."

But even though Be is "Common-lite," it's nowhere near as bad as his last effort, 2003's Electric Circus, which is shit on a shingle*

- From the "don't do" file: if you're sitting around on the PC late one night, bored and a little inebriated, and you happen to find out that seasons 1-3 of Quantum Leap are available on DVD, by no means should you order them on your wife's credit card while she's sleeping. And you also shouldn't add on the Millenium Edition of Night of the Living Dead and the Ultimate Edition of Dawn of the Dead, especially when your wife has her cell phone set up so that she instantly receives a text message whenever her card is used.

Ouch.

- I know some people like dragonfiles. Some people like caterpillars. Some people even like spiders. But show me a person who honestly likes mosquitoes, and I'll show you a base, evil human who doesn't deserve to live.

(Before I take things too far, I should state that I actually liked The Matrix sequels. Please put down that knife.)

- My Mid-East Peace Plan:

My apologies if you somehow find that offensive. I truly do think that boobies can save us all. Maybe that's because I was breast-fed. Yesterday.

* this from Dictionary.com:

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