Thursday, May 23, 2013

Absolute Hero / Zero Sandwich

Take a good, long look at the man above and try not to swoon, ladies and gentlemen, but if you must lose consciousness, hold off as best you can, as I have something to tell you, something that will forever alter your perceptions about the man and quite possibly the nature of truth, justice, and the Canadian way. His name is of no particular importance, for it, like so much else playfully hidden beneath that winter jacket and behind those steely eyes is better left to the imagination. You should recognize him as the man, nay, the legend who gave birth to a bulbous, brown baby boy known as Psychedelic Kimchi but that isn't what I am here to tell you.

What you need to know is that this man, this dainty duke of digital defenestration, claims never to have seen Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, better known to our sizable German audience as Superman IV: Die Suche nach Karriere Beenden (translated as the quest to end careers). That his claim might be a lie shouldn't frighten you, Dear Reader. What should keep you up at night is that he's probably telling the truth.

This is the face of villainy. Study it well. 

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