Basketball Diary, February 14, 2011

I am a big fan of Miami Heat Basketball, and have been for years. The thing, though, is that my status of soju-ourn as a resident of Korea makes it hard -- because of the time difference -- to watch most games, and near impossible when, like today, one is scheduled for Sunday at 1 PM EST, 3 AM here in ROK-and-roll high school. But it's against the Boston Celtics, a team the Heat currently lead in the standings yet have lost twice to this regular season. Chances are, they'll meet in the playoffs this spring; and if the Heat can't muster a win today, their postseason outlook doesn't appear good.

So here I am, dazed after going to bed very early and waking up at two in the morning. The game starts in just under an hour, and because I'm a masochist, I'm writing my thoughts here on this hallowed blog. Pray for me.

- Time for coffee. My wife, currently suffering from insomnia, stirs upstairs. I'm sure she thinks I'm a madman. She wouldn't be incorrect.

- Well-being coffee, you say? Had me at "well," packet of instant-caffeine crystals.

- It's a good thing I don't have to work today, otherwise...wait. Shit. I do have to work today. On my awesome smile.

- Just burned my tongue. I don't like what this portends.

- I am genuinely nervous about the outcome of this game. When the Heat played the Lakers on Christmas Day, I felt likewise, although Miami managed to embarrass the Lakers on their home court. Now? Not sure I'm confident they can recreate that magic. The Big Green Bully is a menace unlike anything in professional sports. It inspires fear.

- This post is brought to you by Parliament cigarettes.

- Game on. This coffee tastes like battery acid.

- There's a drunk guy yelling to himself outside, and that alone has vindicated my decision(!) to wake up early. Kudos, crazy drunk man. That's Greek for "cheers."

- I love the smell of Mike Breen in the morning.

- I have a feeling Kevin Garnett is about to go off the deep end, sort of like D-Fens in Falling Down. Easy, ref, it's only a squirt gun. He just wanted to get home for his daughter's birthday.

- Annnnd, the Internet has just cut out. What cruel fate, this.

- Back again. Mark Jackson says you have to stay attached to Ray Allen's body. Ray Allen's appendages agree.

- The audio on this stream is a few seconds ahead of the video. Good when the Heat make a basket or collect a rebound, bad whenever the Garden crowd cheers.

- We are all witness...to LeBron being screwed out of third consecutive MVP.

- Milk carton: Carlos Arroyo.

- After one quarter, it's 20-15 for Miami. Yet I can't shake this lurking fear that a tranquilized giant is about to rise.

- Mike Breen sums up Kendrick Perkins beautifully in a word: ornery.

- This is getting painful to watch. Mercifully, it's 43-39 Miami heading into Zebrahead.

- Happy Valentine's Day to all the beautiful women in my life. Thank you for putting up with my antics throughout the years. You are loved.

- Continuing the love-in, my affection for Jeff Van Gundy knows no bounds.

- Rajon Rondo shoots free throws like old people fuck.

- 51-44 Celtics, Miami takes a TO. I have a bad feeling about this.

- "I remember how to kill you" is simultaneously one of the worst and most awesome movie quotes ever.

- It's getting chippy in Boston!

- After a D-Wade flagrant foul, Miami is down by 11.

- Make that 13. An ad for Big Mama's House 3 is the capper on this shit sandwich. Now I remember why I'm a misanthropist.

- Still down 13 heading into the fourth quarter. The refs are screwing over the Heat something fierce.

- Okay, no more coffee. I feel like I have lockjaw.

- Welcome back, Dwyane Wade.

- Four-point game. Here we go...

- 18.2 seconds remaining, Heat down 2 points. About to have a heart attack.

- Gotta make the three to tie, gotta make the three to tie, gotta...

- Didn't make the three. Mike Miller will haunt my dreams.