Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Over the Top


The name alone elicits a vision of manliness the likes of which most men -to say nothing of some of the more industrious females- will scarcely attain in this lifetime. As an actor, 'Sly' has provided us with some of the finest characters in all of cinema: Rocky Balboa, John Rambo, Lincoln Hawk, Robert Hatch, Stud, Ray Quick, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, Frank Leone, Gabe Walker, Ray Quick, Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone, as well as a veritable cornucopia of law enforcement personnel including (but not limited to) Det. Sgt. Deke DaSilva, Lt. Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti, Ray Tango, Sgt. Bomowski, Sheriff Freddy Heflin, John Spartan, and Judge Dredd. 

Holy shit. That's a serious list! It would, however, be negligent of me to omit what is, perhaps, the greatest role of Stallone's storied career: the Bayern (バイエルン) Sausage Guy. 


All this brilliance brings us to the next poll. What, pray tell, results from the wondrous union that is Stallone and Sausages? Only you, Constant Retards,* are qualified to determine this behemoth of philosophical conundrums.

* Yes, it shall remain Constant Retards till our sun goes supernova.

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