Watchmen -- Review

I've contemplated for almost a full twenty-four hours how to start this review, and still I'm at a loss for words, so let's get right to the point, shall we? Zack Snyder's Watchmen is a terrific film; it's beautiful to look at, and every single actor brings his or her A game. Still, it's a profound disappointment for several reasons.

I suppose it could be said that it's a blessing the film was even made in the first place, and that my gripes with certain aspects of the movie are nothing more than fanboy nitpicking, but the most vexing thing is that, with only some minor adjustments and better decision making, it could have been a classic. Sadly, it's not. The biggest indicator for me that it isn't is that I don't feel the urge to see it again anytime soon. I most certainly will see it again, but that will inevitably be when it's released on DVD.

Remarkably, Snyder seems to have effortlessly condensed Alan Moore's 12-issue comic book series into two hours and forty minutes of tight storytelling, with only a few -- albeit major -- aspects of the story feeling rushed. Apparently, the director's cut will add up to forty minutes (or more) of footage, and maybe such things as the too-brief detective work done by Rorschach and Nite Owl II will be better fleshed out, but I can only review what I've seen, and a few times the film seems too concerned with atmosphere and staying true to its comic book roots rather than focusing on the plot.

But for the most part Watchmen is a miracle for the fact that it gets so many things right, especially when it comes to acting. There's not one subpar performance in the film, and Jackie Earle Haley in particular portrays Rorschach pitch perfectly. His scene with the prison psychiatrist is among one of the most chilling, intense moments I've seen on the big screen in a long time. Naturally, a lot of aspects of the comic series had to be altered to translate to film, but Earle Haley as Rorschach seems to be lifted directly from the pages of Moore and Gibbons's masterwork. Ditto for Jeffrey Dean Morgan* as The Comedian -- a role criminally too short -- and, minus some flab and a potbelly, Patrick Wilson as Nite Owl II. Rounding out the cast of characters, Matthew Goode is great as Ozymandias, even though he's much more effective at the beginning of the film when his poorly conceived costume -- a costume that openly mocks Batman and Robin -- isn't a distraction, and the sexy Malin Ackerman holds her own as Silk Spectre II.

Oh, yeah, then there's Billy Crudup** as Dr. Manhattan -- and that's where the movie makes its biggest misstep. Dr. Manhattan is the linchpin that holds the entire story in place, and as such the role has to be absolutely nailed in order for Watchmen to ascend from "great movie" to "all-time classic" status. Unfortunately, due to shoddy CGI work, Manhattan is at times uncomfortable to watch, and his unrealistic mouth movements should have been done better. Occasionally, Manhattan seems to occupy a space all his own, apart from the world he's supposed to be in, and that detachment would be pretty nifty as symbolism for his character if it weren't so damn poorly executed. Crudup as Manhattan definitely won't be getting any comparisons to Andy Serkis as Gollum, and that's a shame.

Dr. Manhattan is the film's biggest disappointment, but he's far from its only one. The make-up work on Richard nixon is god awful, and Molock's ears, pointy in the comic and gratuitously taken over the edge in the movie, are baffling in the sense that somebody, anybody, should have easily noticed in pre-production that they simply don't work. The same goes for a few scenes of graphic violence employed, ostensibly, to elicit shock but which only serve to cheapen moments that are so memorable from the comics. My partner in crime, Kmart, scoffed audibly at a scene in which, after Rorschach settles his business with Big Figure, a torrent of blood gushes from beneath a bathroom door. He was not wrong in his kneejerk reaction that the scene is incredibly dumb. There's no better way to explain it.

So Snyder's Watchmen has its problems; there's no question about that. Still, I'm more than a little in love with the final product, despite its flaws. The movie has its share of tonal contradictions, but what it gets wrong it more than makes up for with what it gets right. I'll have a lot more to say about the film when Kmart and I do our much-delayed PKast sometime soon, so wait for that. In the meantime, go eat some chocolate-covered macaroons or something.

3 1/2 out of 4 *_*


* Apparently the movie's producers were struck by Three Name Fever when casting began.

** Psychedelic Kimchi's unsung hero Billy Crudup.