Season Six

Last night, I had a rather bizarre dream, in which I rented a hypothetical, recently-released DVD set of the the Wire, season six, from the local Blockbuster Video and went home to watch it. The thought (a hope nestled within a wet dream, if we're going to be precise) of a new season alone makes for the greatest Valentine's Day gift in the history of mankind, but it gets even better.

As with many of my dreams, I can't recall the finer details (probably because they never existed), but there are some moments that stick out in my mind, even as I type. The hallowed theme to the series, Tom Waits' Way Down in the Hole, was covered by none other than Rage Against the Machine, and I can't really describe what it sounded like (as, unfortunately, a hyperlink to my subconscious could not be be established), suffice it to say that if you're familiar with the trademarked RATM sound, and you're a fan of the Wire, you'll be able to generate your own version of audio ecstasy.

The plot itself has been, mostly, wiped away from the scratched chalkboard of my mind, but I distinctly remember that infant-friendly rappers-turned-actors Kid 'n Play had joined the cast as a couple of bumbling florists that ran a shop which served as front for a resurgent Marlo Stanfield and his burgeoning organization.

Off to a great start, and I'm well aware that I should be sending an email to David Simon instead of writing this post, but it started to get weird from that point onward. Christopher Reid's character, coincidentally referred to as 'Kid', had a pet Border Collie (with stupid red scarf tied around its neck) that served to alert the florists of any forthcoming danger, while Christopher Martin, playing the role of 'Chris',* had an enormous hoop earring made from solid gold hanging from his left ear. I'm not certain what that was supposed to be about, but whatever.**

Across the street from the floral shop, squatting on a curb, was this man draped in an oversized, rust-colored duster jacket eyeing the coming and going of gang members, and I use the term 'eyeing' loosely due to the fact that this man also wore a burly Howling-style werewolf mask, and it was exactly the same as the one pictured.*** I should also mention that the phrase 'man' is used hesitantly as well, because it seemed as if it were something other than a man underneath the hairy mask itself, like some manner of twisted joke. Beneath the folds of the all-encompassing jacket, shapes best described as meat hooks pulsated haphazardly, and the man's hands and feet were wrapped up in medical gauze. It was like a new kind of Omar- if you follow me- awaiting the proper moment to make his move.

The scene blended into one of the Border Collie barking at something at the onset of dusk, to which Kid 'n Chris stormed out of the floral shop, revolvers in hand, to see the 'man' dragging the dog into its duster. The camerawork, as I viewed it, obscured just how the animal was pulled inward, but nonetheless, there was something terribly menacing about this substitute Omar. Even as the dog whimpered in pain and the two gun-toting florists shouted profanity-laden threats, the mask remained the same, disturbingly comedic in its molded expression.

At that point, my alarm went off (and yes, I do occasionally set my alarm on Saturdays) and I awoke, only to recall what happened just before that moment.

Even if you were bored by my dream, I think we can all agree that A) a new season of the Wire, and B) some new RATM would be equally awesome.


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* I'm so goddamned clever in my dreams!

** I only remember the earring because, as I watched this episode unfold within my dream, I recall thinking that it was outrageously idiotic.

*** It was that particular mask, most certainly. This past week, I've been perusing a website looking for a Halloween costume, and they offer the item in question.