Hooooooooooooooooooo!

This evening, I turned on the television and flipped through the channels, hoping to see something other than a myriad of Steven Seagal movies. I'll be forthright and mention that my hopes were, within a minute, dashed by the appearance of Exit Wounds, but I'd also like to point out that I stumbled upon a showing of the 2009 Royal Rumble.

You know, I've never been a huge fan of professional wrestling, but like most boys that watched a lot of TV during the eighties, I was certainly exposed to it,* and I've always enjoyed the concept behind the rumble: a large number of guys going apeshit (or pretending to do so) within a ring. Fun times had by all.

At some point during this year's rumble, 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan entered the fray, and yes, you heard me right: Jim fucking Duggan, the same guy that wrestled against the Iron Sheik and Sgt. Slaughter some twenty years ago. I had to wonder, just how old is that guy? I'm not going ageist on anyone, I just can't help but think that Duggan's a tad past his prime, and judging by his performance during the match, that prime coincided with the release of Jumpin' Jack Doritos.

So, curious guy that I am, I went to Wikipedia and did a search on Mr. Duggan. Turns out he's fifty-four years old. Not terribly surprising, I suppose, but I did come across this amusing tidbit:

In 1987, Duggan and the Iron Sheik (Hossein Vasiri) were pulled over by New Jersey police after a WWF event, suspecting Duggan of driving under the influence. After a search of the vehicle and the persons, police discovered that Duggan was under the influence of marijuana and alcohol, while the Sheik was high on cocaine. Small amounts of cocaine were also found in the vehicle.

For a wrestling aficionado, this kind of thing may be par for the course, but for laymen like myself, it was rather comical for a variety of reasons,** and as one may guess (and rightfully so), I was compelled to click on the link to the Iron Sheik, where I was treated to another amazing factoid:

In recent years, the Iron Sheik has expressed intense dislike for many wrestlers, wrestling promoters, former friends, and celebrity figures, including Brian Blair, Nikolai Volkoff, The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, André the Giant, Michael Richards, and others. In various interviews conducted with the Sheik, he has lashed out at these and other figures, using extremely profane language and often threatening to "humble" them by means of anal rape.

Seriously now, I can understand the theatrical aspect of professional wrestling as well as the behavior expected from faces and heels, Mr. Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri, but is the threat of anal rape really necessary?




(This was my Sunday evening.)



* I also went through a period, in the latter nineties, during which I watched WWF/E on a weekly basis, but hey, I lived in an all-male dormitory my freshman year of university, and it's tough to avoid being sucked into the Nothing. Word to Atreyu.

** The least of which being that Sparkles *_* and I have found ourselves in a similar situation on numerous occasions and, more often than not, there was a 2x4 in the back seat of Forbes' El Camino.