Dead People Party IV

Inspectah Deck: You know how people sometimes pick Ringo as their favorite Beatle or The Possessed as their favorite Dostoevsky novel* just to be contrary? Well, I am not that guy. That guy is Masta Killa, and I'm pretty sure he'd be delivering pizzas right now if it weren't for the rest of us.

No, I am not the weak link. Not by far. Ask any fan of lyricism and he'll tell you that a debate has long raged over who of the Clan's esteemed membership is the best pure rhymer, me or GZA. And, yeah, GZA usually comes out on top, at least on most of the message boards I frequent**, but that likely has more to do with his moniker than anything. I know this, as I have recently been taking classes in marketing and economics at a local community college***. Word to Stringer Bell. Let's have a "better MC" debate pitting Jason Hunter against Gary (*snicker*) Grice, and then we'll see who the real champion is.

(And for the record, my verse on "Guillotines" crushes dude's.)

I may sound bitter. Trust me, I am not. Have you heard Words from a Genius or Beneath the Surface? More like Words from a Glib Asshole and Beneath the Rectum! Pwned. Liquid Swords, while a classic, is more a credit to RZA than to Mr. Grice. Sure, Gary throws heat on the album, but I would argue that, of the record's thirteen tracks, the weakest are the ones in which Mr. Grice is the sole MC, "Labels" an obvious exception. Looks to me as though someone can't shoulder the soloist burden.

Know what I did? I dropped Uncontrolled Substance, and while it definitely has its flaws, I did that shit with little assistance from either RZA or my fellow Clansmen. Just to prove a point. And there was a reason you didn't guest appear on that joint, Gary. Reason: you suck!

Oh, I've heard all the jokes about my second album (The Movement) being an aural dookie already, so don't try to appear witty by making another one. I know that's too low brow for you, seeing as how you're The Genius and everything, but I just thought I'd give you a heads up. You don't want to embarrass yourself further. You certainly don't want to do that.

I have a funny anecdote, and I swear this is true. A couple of years ago, maybe five -- I don't remember the exact date -- we were riding the tour bus en route to some fucked-up venue in Tennessee or one of those other southern states where all the people are slow mutants or glue sniffers, and I couldn't sleep. I got out of bed and started playing Silent Hill (or maybe it was Resident Evil: fucked if I remember or care), and after what must have been forty minutes took a piss and decided to retire for the night. Well, I must have been pretty drowsy at the time, because I mistakenly entered Gary's room****. And you know what I saw? That perv was jerking off to scrambled pay-per-view porn! Or trying to, I should say. The truth is that while the GZA is the head, in terms of genetics he, rather unfortunately, drew the short straw when it came to drafting team members, if you catch my drift.

I'm looking forward to finishing the new Wu-Tang album. It's fire. Hit me up on MySpace for more details. (That's http://www.myspace.com/inspectahdeck; copy and paste, bitches.) I'll add you as a friend.

Unless, that is, your name happens to be Gary Grice, or my layout gives you an epileptic seizure -- in which case I sincerely apologize for the latter.



* Or Idealjetsam as their favorite PK contributor.

** The handle's INSfan_70, if you need to know; and, yes, I've been banned a couple of times from various sites for blatant and oftentimes flagrant self-promotion, and one time for harassing a poster who had the gall to choose the handle "Rebel IBS". And let me just say that what the idiot moderators at allhiphop.com consider spam is, to me, the very epitome of good ole American business ingenuity. Don't make me out to be the bad guy.

*** I get mad pussy from the co-eds, by the way.

**** It was a pretty big tour bus, mind.