As You Like It, or Player's Choice

At our last Psychedelic Kimchi staff meeting deep in the bowels of the Hall of Doom, our most-recent staff addition was heard to exclaim, "(I'm) still trying to figure out what this blog is *all about*. I have yet to identify a unifying theme aside from basketball."

To which IJ and I guffawed, as we are the major detractors of all things bouncy and orange in this motley crew. But it did beg the question: Just what is Psychedelic Kimchi all about? Can it really be about Korea if only three out of six of us live there? Can it really be about basketball if basketball sucks? Can it really be about comic books if most of us don't know how to read and have to dictate posts through our significant others?

We looked to Sparkles, as the progenitor, to try to define it. "PK is about truth. PK is about art. PK is about beauty. PK is about the things in life that bring us together, not those that divide and debase us. PK is like the U.S. Supreme Court's definition of obscenity. You know it when you see it."

"But Spark," we protested, "that's not a definition at all. And besides, what about when the truth is harsh and ugly? How can PK be about both truth and beauty?"

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," he said, "that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

But we knew he stole that from somewhere, so we ignored him.

"PK is about giving voice to the oppressed and bringing justice to the masses," ventured Jetsam. "Whenever we see inequity, we call folks on it. Whenever we see social inequality, we're there to bring it to light. Whenever some douche bag with a blog is acting the fool, we're there to sic 'em."

But it was agreed that calling out every moron with a blog was far too big a scope for one Web site, even one as epic as PK.

"PK is about the mythology and archetypes of the modern world," said K. "And about drinking way too much in Budang."

But it was agreed that, while drinking way too much in Bundang was definitely a major motif of PK, it could not be called the theme or subject of it.

"PK is the zeitgeist of our times, which is why all of you bastards need to post more," said Denz, but we all agreed that that was way too heavy a trip to take, and that if we accepted such a truth we would indeed have to post more, which none of us was ready for.

"PK is the metaphorical search for the white whale," I offered. "It's spending your life hunting for that one perfect post." No one even bothered to comment on my suggestion, which was perhaps the most cutting blow of all.

"Psychedelic Kimchi," a small voice came from the corner, "is not so easily defined." We all turned to see a little girl sitting in the lotus position by the door. None of us had seen her enter, but later, after much discussion, it was generally agreed that as she continued to speak she slowly began to levitate ever-so-slightly off the ground.

"Psychedelic Kimchi is the alpha and the omega," she continued. "The Yin and the Yang. You get one post about Korea and one post about comic books. One post about basketball and one post about MMA. Self-important blathering, inside jokes, and drunken posting are often the norm. References to pop culture are made that are so oblique that oftentimes even other writers on the site don't get them, let alone the two regular readers. Asterisks are plentiful. Cussing is plentiful. Content is often sacrificed for style. Meaning is often sacrificed for a quick laugh. Clear communication is often sacrificed for tangents diverse and purposeless. Psychedelic Kimchi," she concluded "is not about anything. Rather, Psychedelic Kimchi is 'bout it 'bout it."

And there it was. The original inspiration for Psychedelic Kimchi had returned to show us the way, like some mythical christ-figure returned to the faithful. And none to soon, I might add. It inspired us all so greatly that we immediately pledged to post more often than once a month.

The little girl rolled her eyes in incredulity.