Thursday, May 31, 2007

Miller Time


It seems Koreans are krazy about Michael Scofield, aka 서코필, pka Wentworth Miller. Sure, as far as acting goes he has only one emotive style (I am hypnotizing you with my sexy, squinty stare; I am talk-whispering; take off your pants), but it works, so why tamper with success? It takes a certain kind of man to pull off that look -- when I try it the biggest question I get is "Are you drunk or something?" and, occasionally, "Did you lose a contact?"

Wentworth Miller is a sensation: he's a Bean Pole model for cryin' out loud; and if you don't think Koreans' attitudes vis a vis tattoos has seen a drastic paradigm shift since Prison Break started airing on the penninsula, ask a teenager. I'm firmly convinced that Miller could singlehandedly -- single-eyesedly? -- spark a sexual revolution in the ROK. If this indeed happens, call me the Malcolm Gladwell of tracing Korean cultural tipping points. If it doesn't, just call me Angel of the morning, baby.

And while the summer of Scofield would be nice and all, what I really want is for Miller to hear his true calling. Arousing the Korean populace from its ancient sexual slumber is one thing, but what I really wish is for Miller to assume his birthright: becoming the next great gunslinger.

The Hollywood western needs a motherfucking revival, and who better to kickstart a movement* than Mikey-Sco? Are you telling me cat wouldn't be the dopest six-gun shooter since Clint Eastwood? Nobody'll replace Clint, but Miller's the closest thing we've got as far as steely-eyed toughguys go. Sure, he's a little too pretty and a little less weathered than The Man With No Name, but give him time.

I'll be patient. Johnny Depp, Clint Eastwood, even Patrick Fucking Dempsey: they all needed a little aging afore their true cinematic viewing comfort could be achieved. Right now, Miller is a new leather couch: nice to look at, but a little tough to sleep on. Give him a few years, though, and he'll do something marvelous. I haven't been this excited about a rookie since I saw Skeet Ulrich in Scream.

Perhaps I should shut the fuck up now.




* My apologies to Ex-Lax

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now Skeet has truly aged like a fine wine. He eclipses Brad and Leo in my book.

ZenKimchi said...

"I haven't been this excited... Skeet Ulrich in Scream."

When you read it fast, it sounds like you were excited about seeing Screech. Had to read it twice.

Kmork said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kmork said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kmork said...

Goddamn comments.

idealjetsam said...

Yeah.

Anonymous said...

The writer of psychedelickimchi.blogspot.com has written a superior article. I got your point and there is nothing to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not disagree with: The existence of universal truths is based on the non existence of cultural relativism. I will be back.