The Equinox
I don't get much correspondence, but if I did I'd pretend that a lot of you sexy beasts are wondering whatever became of
(Johnny Fever)
my Svengali, Idealjetsam.
Answer: he's in our hearts and minds. Mostly in our minds. Or at least mine. I think he hypnotized me one night when we were out drinking. That would explain a lot, specifically why I do the chicken dance whenever I cross an intersection.
Idealjetsam, who doesn't look a day over twelve, is to Psychedelic Kimchi what Ray Kroc is to McDonald's: he doesn't have an active role, but he's the driving force of an empire. No hyperbole.
Recently, I spoke with Idealjetsam. And the literary world fell to its knees.
A transcript (edited for length):
Sparkles:
Bang! You dead!
모든 대화 상대에게 메시지를 보내지는 못했습니다.
Bang! You dead!
Sparkles:
Shit. Missed.
Idealjetsam:
eh?
Sparkles:
Nothing, I saw your name come up and I wanted to send you a message right away. My folks sometimes do that, and it annoys the hell out of me.
Idealjetsam:
you got me
Idealjetsam:
my comp is still booting
Idealjetsam:
and it was annoying
Idealjetsam:
congrats
Idealjetsam:
dick
Idealjetsam:
you broke my computer
Idealjetsam:
now go write on your blog or something
Sparkles:
I was gonna, but I posted 25 articles this month, so I'm taking a long-deserved break.
Sparkles:
Sorry, 24.
Idealjetsam:
so drinking it is
Sparkles:
And The Mars Volta.
Sparkles:
So, what are we studying? Maybe I can help. I'm sort of a big deal when it comes to academics, you know.
Idealjetsam:
Freire's dialogic of oppression and hope as applied to a world civic
Sparkles:
Oh come on; give me something at least a little bit challenging.
Idealjetsam:
haha
Idealjetsam:
wikipedia couldn't help, eh?
Sparkles:
I was in bathroom! Bathroom!
Idealjetsam:
yeah, yeah
Sparkles:
I peed!
Idealjetsam:
fear will do that
Sparkles:
Seriously, though, I have an idea I want to run by you. It's about a short story I've imagined.
Idealjetsam:
uh-oh
Sparkles:
And I'm dead serious here.
Sparkles:
It was inspired by Murakami's "A Poor-Aunt Story" and my own life.
Sparkles:
Here it is:
Idealjetsam:
ok
Sparkles:
Told from 2 (possibly 3, though maybe 1 is the soundest idea) perspectives
Sparkles:
it's the tale of a family dog, loved by his owners
Idealjetsam:
like Lassie?
Sparkles:
Let me finish!
Idealjetsam:
ok
Sparkles:
This dog, right, he's a great dog. Very loyal, and everybody loves him. Even mailmen love this fucker
Idealjetsam:
ok
Sparkles:
But around his 14th (78th) year, the dog gets sick.
Sparkles:
Cancer
Idealjetsam:
are you sure you don't want to run to the deli for two eggs on a hard roll with provolone and tomato
Idealjetsam:
?
Idealjetsam:
ok
Idealjetsam:
cancer
Sparkles:
Beer is my dinner.
Idealjetsam:
carry on
Sparkles:
Anyway, the dog gets terminally ill.
Sparkles:
He's hurting.
Sparkles:
And the family loves him so dearly that they do everything possible to keep him alive.
Sparkles:
But the dog, he doesn't understand.
Idealjetsam:
wait
Idealjetsam:
wasn't this already done?
Idealjetsam:
are you taking the piss?
Sparkles:
After a while, he starts to wonder why the family is keeping him alive. Maybe they're torturing him.
Sparkles:
I assure you, I'm being genuine. Why, has this idea already been done?
Idealjetsam:
it sounds familiar
Sparkles:
Anyway, the dog, once a loyal and loving family dog, starts to hate, despise his owners...even the little boy.
Idealjetsam:
especially the part about the dog not knowing
Idealjetsam:
while the family does everything
Idealjetsam:
but go on
Sparkles:
I was reminded a little of Dalton Trumbo's 'Johnny Got His Gun,' but that was afterwards.
Sparkles:
Anyhoo, the dog at the end despises the the family. He wants to kill them all, only he's too weakened to do anything but stay alive and hate them.
Sparkles:
There's an unintentional eusthanization [sic] message in there. Mostly I think it's a good story about perspectives.
Idealjetsam:
what's the point?
Sparkles:
There must be a point, now? I guess the point is that nobody, human or beast, can see the whole picture. To the family, they're doing what they think is right: keeping their animal friend alive. To the dog, he feels betrayed and wonders until (and after, maybe) his death why a family he was so loyal to treated him so cruelly when they used to be so kind.
Idealjetsam:
some Hemingway you are...
Idealjetsam:
ok
Idealjetsam:
I think Bill Murray should play the dog
Idealjetsam:
no
Idealjetsam:
Charles Grodin
Sparkles:
That's not funny. Well, maybe a little.
Idealjetsam:
anyway
Idealjetsam:
the idea is cool at this stage
Idealjetsam:
but you really need to wait til the next stage
Idealjetsam:
and see where you're at
Sparkles:
Short story or novel?
Idealjetsam:
tetralogy
Sparkles:
And don't worry; it won't be a kids' story. In an early chapter, the dog catches the son wacking off and tries to hump his leg.
Idealjetsam:
interesting
Idealjetsam:
the details you thresh out first
Sparkles:
Write what you know(?)
Idealjetsam:
what ever comes to you, naturally
Idealjetsam:
ok
Idealjetsam:
reading, must do
Idealjetsam:
piss off
Sparkles:
Ha. The real question now is: what kind of dog is it?
Sparkles:
Mind if I post this on PK? The latter part.
Idealjetsam:
our conversation?
Sparkles:
About the short story/book.
Idealjetsam:
sure
Idealjetsam:
post it all. Even the part where I blame the Jews for all the wars in the world.
(OK, I made that last part up.)
Idealjetsam:
I wanna be famous
*****
So there you go; that's how my Saturday night was spent. And if you don't see many posts by me for a while, it's because a) I've been kidnapped by North Korean spies, or b) I'm writing a novel about a dog.
2 comments:
Please note, due to other blogger engagements, Idealjetsam must now be "Mr. T".
But I am still a/the man.
Interesting interpretation of my Nancy Lang comment at the end there. Quaint. Cute. Bastard.
Mr. T? Why not "Flash" or "Cat Burglar"?
And who's this Nancy Lang?
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