Memory Lane (X)

Oh, to be young and lazy again. (Younger and lazier, I mean.) Those seven months back in Canada were spent doing nothing but traveling, drinking, fucking, watching movies, getting up after 12pm, and spending money.

I was content to continue in my extravagant ways, but after I was married in early October of that year, my wife pressed me to go out and get a job. Women are funny that way.

I sent my resume around to various advertising agencies in Toronto, but solicited no replies. To tell you the truth, I was still pretty casual about the whole "job" thing, and didn't sweat it; but a few weeks later my wife floored me with the news that

(Arli$$ was going to be canceled)

she was pregnant. Which at the time was quite a puzzle, because we always did it standing up, specifically to discourage such an outcome.

After the initial shock that I was going to be a dad wore off, I

(got rip-roaringly drunk)

embraced the idea. A kid could be a hell of a lot worse off than having me for a father, I told myself.

Still, I was disquieted by the fact that

(I had had a vasectomy 2 years earlier)

I had no job. And my wife was pregnant. This was like an episode of The Simpsons (the one where Homer becomes an astronaut, I think), only a lot less funny. Or as funny as the episodes that came after the 8th season. Depends on how you look at it, I suppose.

Anyway, I had to find a Snoop Jobby Job, and quick. (Where to look? Hmmm, this is a toughie.) The answer was simple: return to Korea.

Sure. Fine. I have nothing against Korea. In fact, I love -- among many other things -- cheap cigarettes, bars that don't close until sunrise, and 스타골든벨. But I didn't want to work in a hagwon. That's fine for a young college grad, I told myself, but for a married, expectant father? Not so good.

Regardless, without any other options I swallowed my pride and applied to numerous job ads on websites such as Dave's ESL Cafe, and sent my resume to a slew of recruiting agencies.

Fortuitously, the agency from which I landed my previous teaching contract emailed me and asked if I was interested in recruiting for them. I've never been much of a people person, but, like Joel Goodson, sometimes you gotta say What the fuck? and run with the snap life hands you, so I accepted the agency's offer.

At the beginning of December, 2002, my wife and I headed back to the ROK.

I've heard that flying while pregnant can be potentially dangerous for mother and child, but our daughter turned out all right. Except for the fact that she can set people and things ablaze like that little girl in Firestarter, but that's actually pretty cool. If you're on her good side, I mean.

And even though it's a country full of crazies -- I am NOT referring to the locals, by the way -- I missed the place like a Scott Norwood field goal.

It was good to be back. We took an apartment near Hongdae, in Seoul, and after only a few months of

(lying, backstabbing, and cheating)

recruiting, I had saved up enough for us to move into a modest apartment in Bundang, which I felt was a better environment in which to raise a family.

Since then -- and to paraphrase Chico Escuela -- life been berry, berry good to me.