Gucci Time

I think he's God disguised as Dwyane Wade

-- Me (after Bird)

I've had just over six hours to reflect on the Miami Heat's epic game 5 victory earlier today, and I honestly don't think I've ever experienced and been more elated by a win like that. Maybe the Alan Houston buzzer-beater; perhaps the Larry Johnson 4-point play. But those were, respectively, first and third round games -- this is the NBA finals, and the Heat are one win away from greatness: a greatness which, as I wrote what seems like years ago in the preview for the 2006 playoffs, I've never been a part of as a b-ball fan.

Of course the ghosts of 1994 still loom (remember, the Knicks were up 3-2 and dropped the last two games in Houston), so I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself and proclaim the Heat champs already; but I hope I can be forgiven my exaltation after game 5.

After a game like that.

Once again the Heat persevered, this time in an extended, nail-biting elongation of what happened in game 3. Unlike Superman on laundry day, the Mavs didn't fold quickly; they stayed in it to the very end, and they deserve a lot of credit. Heck, even Dirk the Jerk, who's been playing this series with both hands tightly around his neck, nearly showed the world that he has the ability to shoot daggers with the best of 'em.

Nearly.

But -- sorry to say, Mavs fans -- Dirk's continuing legacy of these Finals is the role of the ineffectual, the star who just can't get it done when it matters. Maybe things'll go better for him once the series resumes in Dallas on Tuesday (Wednesday morning for my ass), but he now has a few more failures to haunt him on his disappointing Finals debut resume:

Another missed free throw in the clutch, another poor shooting night. And that foul on Dwyane "can't chill because the sun don't freeze" Wade which cost them the game.

How do you say choke in German, anyway?

Thankfully for Nowinski (childish, I know), his teammates stepped up for him and the suspended Jerry Stackhose (respect the architect), especially Jason Terry, whom, if Dallas does come back to win this series, is the undisputable MVP for the Mavs. Josh Howard played great, too, save for his 2 missed free throws in crunch time and the boneheaded time-out call between Wade's decisive free throws, meaning that the Mavs couldn't set up a play and inbound the ball at half-court with 1.9 seconds remaining.

Oops.

So, despite the fact that they've shown they're a bunch of whiners (hard to imagine when you look at who the team's owner is), I'm giving Dallas their props for a hard-fought, classic game. They could have lied down and died after the drubbing they took in game 4, but instead Avery had them playing with all the heart they could muster.

It just wasn't enough.

Now...

How about the motherfucking Miami Heat? Specifically, how about Dwyane Wade? In just his 3rd year, this kid is proving that he has the heart of a champion. Sure, he's got Shaq -- but the Diesel hasn't exactly set the world on fire in this series.

Wade has, and anyone who still thinks Lebron is, as of right now, a better all-around player is tripping.

I'll say it again: Dwyane Wade is the best basketball player in the world, Shaq or no Shaq.

To boot: with Shaq, he's averaging more points in his first finals appearance than MJ did.

Holy shit.

But, for now, enough of my obsessive and much-documented man-love for Wade. How 'bout the rest of the Heat? How about Gary Payton?

Gary, you're really starting to freak me out. Did you sell your soul to Satan (please, no Pat Riley jokes) or something? Is that why, when you hit the game 3 winner on Sunday and that crucial bucket today, you actually looked scared?

To quote Buck Swope, "Doesn't it scare you? Working with evil forces?"

Whatever, man. Just keep doing whatever it is you're doing.

Kudos to the rest of the squad as well, particularly Shaq, but this game was, despite his poor shooting percentage, Dwyane Wade's. His performance today was one of legend, a remarkable display of ingenuity, skill, and ice-cold precision (well, except for those 17 misses).

This quote from Dan Wetzel, though it seems a cliche, best sums up the game:

The Heat didn't lose Game 5 of the NBA Finals to Dallas because Dwyane Wade wouldn't let them.

And that's the truth.

Make no mistake, it is going to be tough for the Heat to take 1 in Texas (shades of 1994), but you can bet your Vida Guerra they're going to give it their all.

And under the leadership of the best player on the planet.


Let's. Go. Heat!

PS - We're one Heat win away from hopefully finding out what the hell is in that bowl. My guess is that, similar to the climax of the movie Se7en, it's Stan Van Gundy's severed head.

PPS - A few days ago I erroneously wrote that the guy who does that gay flag thing during the player intros is Asian. Upon further inspection today I realized that he is, in fact, African-American. My bad, though my mistake is easily explainable: no one with a shred of dignity would look at that dude for more than .5 milliseconds.

PPP(always got sum fly shit on deck)S - The superstitous rituals worked again. For those curious: I watched the game while standing, ate a pickled chili pepper prior to tip off, logged onto Stream TV though I didn't use it, not even to catch the halftime show (and I've heard the halftime segments have been positively awful), and a long list of other things which I'm not particularly eager to relate. But Mark Stein told me not to mess with success, and I'm following his sage wisdom.