Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Back to Back Rhymin' -- "I know I'd be the man...

...if I cold yanked the plug on GM Thomas, but I can't and that's bugged."

or

"Industry Rule no. 4080: GM Isiah Thomas is crazeeee."

I'm of the school of thought that you could take any 7-footer, teach him the very basics of the game, throw him on a ball court, and he could go for 12 and 10 (at least) on any given night. So what Darko has done so far isn't very surprising, at least to me. That said, I genuinely hope the kid does well. How great of a story would that be? The guy has been the object of a lot of scorn and condescension, he's been the butt of a ton of jokes, and it's all been undeserved. Needless to say, I'm rooting for him. If he can become a superstar, the Magic will have the best frontcourt since the Twin Towers in Houston. Plus there's potential for a pretty good buddy movie.

My most pleasant surprise is the Miami Heat, riding a nine-game win streak and finally playing like they're supposed to. I realize their schedule lately has been easier than Mo Bee, and that they almost lost two gimmes -- one to Atlanta and the other to Charlotte -- but I'll take it regardless. The downside of this is that Dwyane Wade supposedly has an injured wrist, but I'm confident that it's a made up ailment, and that Riles is giving the kid some rest during an easy stretch. I just wish they'd be up front and say so, instead of pretending the guy is actually hurt.

It'd also be nice to see a Heat game again, as the last time one was aired here was like 2 months ago. Fucking Super Action has been showing a bunch of Blazers games, the sole reason being that Ha Seung-Jin might see some action (or break the record for most fouls comitted in a 60-second span).

I'm with you on the Francis trade, as is every other sane person. Why Zeke hasn't been fired is a question fit for Woodward and Bernstein, I think. Conspiracy theories abound: does Isiah have incriminating evidence against James Dolan? Is this a Machiavellian plot to drive Larry Brown insane? Is it, for some reason, Isiah's ultimate scheme of revenge against Knicks fans? If the latter, it's up there with Woo-Jin Lee's plot in Oldboy. No one has fucked up NY so badly since Ozymandias in Watchmen.

As for the Top 100 list, the omissions you mentioned (by the way, did you mean WC and the Maad Circle's Ain't a Damn Thing Changed, or the similarly-titled album by Nice & Smooth?) are all worthy, save maybe for Stunts, Blunts, and... which sounded a lot better when I first heard it 14 years ago. Similarly, I regretted putting Showbiz & AG's Runaway Slave on the list, until I listened to it again on Saturday. Seems I remember it being a lot better than it actually is. The good tracks are good, but it plods through the middle, and there are some songs which in retrospect are downright corny (the best example of this being Silence of the Lambs and its cringe-worthy chorus). Still, I almost put it on because Represent may just be the best posse cut ever, Scenario included.

That was one I purposefully left off. Amerikkka's Most Wanted I thought I'd included. In fact, when I read your post I said to myself denz missed it; it's on there. But it isn't, and of course it should be. My bad. The real killer is that Check Your Head -- a good album, but half of it isn't even hip-hop -- could easily have been bumped at no. 100. If I had to do it again (maybe I will in a year; we'll see), I'd place it somewhere between no. 40 and 75.

Doggystyle is my biggest and worst omission, for sure. Man, how did I let that one slip? I deserve a smack for that. It doesn't rank in the top 25 for me, but it definitely should be on the list, somewhere between 26 and 50.

The other big omission, at least to me, was leaving off Black Moon's Enta Da Stage. Also unintentional. As far as BCC releases go, it's better than Dah Shinin' and Nocturnal, so it deserves a spot no lower than 78, if not 50.

Resurrection at no. 2: Yeah, even though Be was decent, Common's pretty much a bore these days; and, yeah, most of his stuff has been "really great" (Like Water For Chocolate, despite the effete title) to "god-awful" (Electric Circus), but 10 times out of 10 I'd make the same call on Resurrection. Who knew the guy had so much wordplay, such lyrical genius, in him? Sure, Can I Borrow a Dollar is good, but I don't think anyone expected the guy to make the kind of leap in talent that he did. The lyrics are just phenomenal, the best I've ever heard. And the beats! In short, I love Resurrection like I love my dick size.

Com's biggest problem was that, after Resurrection, he felt he had to get more serious, and this was reflected in the mundanity of his lyrics on following albums. It was as though he felt he could no longer kick intricately pun-filled and referential lyrics such as "it wasn't us, it was them/the warriors/I'm a warrior and still don't have to shogun" or "...sayin' let us catch up/knowin' they can't cut the mustard/so where's the beef, jerky?" for fear of being called corny. This is a long-standing complaint I have about the decline of hip-hop as it relates to its backwards evolution to stop being fun, instead morphing into, for the most part, Jerry in the Seinfeld episode where George begs him to "not be so funny" so George can impress his girlfriend.

As for the Oscars, I haven't seen Crash, either, but from what I've read it's either a deeply powerful look at race, racism, racists, and potato sack races, or a pandering piece of shit. I'll have to judge it for myself when it's eventually released here. Same goes for Brokeback Mountain, although I was rooting for it in the vain hope that, if it won, Mark Cuban might preemptorily change the Mavs' team name to The Dallas Vaginafillers.

Personally, I think they should be renamed The Roughriders. That's probably because I'm from Canada, where almost every team is so named.

PS - I knew I saw Nellie at the Oscars. My bad for doubting and telling myself it was really Philip Seymour Hoffman. This from ESPN.com:

Check around on the Internet to find the priceless picture of Nellie at the Oscars, a few rows behind his new pal George Clooney. (In case you've forgotten, Nelson is presently coaching a fictional NBA expansion team from San Diego in a proposed TV series directed by Clooney.)

2 comments:

Harrison Forbes said...

I forgot to add my most anticipated hip-hop release of '06:

El-P's sophomore album, 'I'll Sleep When You're Dead,' which, coincidentally, is what my daughter says every night when I tell her it's bedtime.

No. 2 is Outkast's 'Idlewild'. Forgive me, god, for saying this, but I'm a little afraid it'll be a disappointment.

*fingers crossed*

Aaron said...

"I'm of the school of thought that you could take any 7-footer, teach him the very basics of the game, throw him on a ball court, and he could go for 12 and 10 (at least) on any given night."

Ha Seungjin certainly does: 12 turnovers and 10 personal fouls (were it possible) in about 8 minutes of play.

Super Action can play and replay Blazers games all day (and as a tragically loyal fan I hope they do), but Nate McMillan would play a railroad tie before he played Ha Seungjin. The guy averaged less than 10 minutes/game even when Ratliff and Pryzbila were both out. The guy's improved but damned if he's ready for the NBA. He should have spent this year in the NBDL because he won't be eligible for it next year.