Smorgasbored

As always, when I have nothing major to write about, but feel I must write something to appease my fans (all 2 of them), you get nuggets like the following:

1) If there's one good thing about spam mail (besides helping me get kickass deals on Cialis, that is), it's that it's a veritable treasure trove of great names to use for fiction. Billie Mayo, Jarvis Sorensen, Deon Ashby, Archie Bradford, Geraldine Pendleton, and let's not forget Erika Gage...I never again have to waste time coming up with a decent character name; I just check my inbox and there are literally hundreds of them.

2) The Phoenix Suns make it to triple OT for the second time in like 3 weeks and lose again? That's gotta be some kind of record.

3) This week's "Cold Gettin' Dumb" award goes to the lady who clicked her tongue sharply and stormed off because I hit the UP button for the elevator, while she had already pressed the DOWN one. Lady, this may come as a total shock, but since you pressed the DOWN button first, and the elevator was on the way down, it would have stopped and taken you down first. Dumbass. Extra dumbass bonus points awarded because I was at ground level and there are only 2 sub-level floors in our building. Is it really that fucking hard to take the stairs? I see this every morning when the lazy-ass KT workers wait sometimes upwards of 3 minutes to take the elevator to the 2nd floor. Now that's fucking lazy.

4) A few nights ago I dreamt that I was in the audience of Inside The Actors Studio With James Lipton. His guest was Andrew McCarthy, and all of Lipton's questions were about Weekend At Bernie's. Actually, that might not have been a dream.

5) For everybody who got a kick out of the Lazy Sunday/Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia video that was shown on Saturday Night Live a few weeks back, check out http://thelonelyisland.com/. It's ka-blamo.

6) This whole Ron Artest drama has put something into perspective for me. People tend to make a lot of comparisons between the NBA and major label hip-hop, and to some extent the parallels are accurate, but not when it comes to professionalism. Stern and Co. have taken a lot of heat for the age limit and dress code (warranted, in my opinion), but at least they take accountability for their employees and make an effort to appear professional. Not so at major record labels. Take a look at the criticism Artest's teammates have leveled at him. If this were the world of hip-hop, you think they'd be as polite, as restrained? Never. Jermaine O'Neal would have called him a "motherfuckin' Benedict Arnold" and made statements to the press that Ron-Ron better watch his back. You think Stern would stand for something like that? Never. Which is probably why you won't read any stories about a major NBA star being gunned down.