Back to Back Rhymin'
What's the biggest story of the NBA season thus far?
That’s a given. Kobe... hell, anyone dropping 81 is just beyond comprehension. You mention that all he needs to do now is sleep with 20,000 women. Why stop there? Let’s send him to Iraq to kill 20,000 militants.
When the whole rape thing happened, a part of me, a dark disturbed part, secretly hoped that Kobe would go to jail. That’d he’d get 8-10 years and be out in 4. Whilst he was in the pokey, LBJ and Darko (!) would own the league. In the meantime, Kobe pulls a Max Cady. Can you imagine? An angry 30 year old, tattooed, ripped, and balding Kobe Bean Bryant getting out of prison? Now that’s drama.
I’d imagine him going for 60 against the LBJ Knicks, running into the stands, plunging his hand into David Stern’s chest, ripping his heart out and showing it to him before he died. But that’s a fiction. We all know that the Commish is made of steel and has no heart.
Speaking of which, did Charles E. Smith ever get out of Prison?
Back to the 81 game. People will invariably lament that Kobe is just “a scorer”, but to do so is shortsighted. Just how much of an accomplishment is 81 points? I was thinking back to great “one dimensional” scorers of times long gone and I thought of Dominique Wilkins. Now, ‘Nique was your prototypical scorer. A joy to watch, but widely criticized for being only that – a scorer.
Did Wilkins ever come close to doing what Bean did? Not by a long shot. So, let’s take it a step further. Nique’s defining game was arguably in 1988 in the infamous Boston Shootout with Bird. All time game. Wilkins was off the hook and Bird goes for 20 in the fourth. Epic performances from both players, but let’s look at the stats:
Wilkins 47. Bird 34.
81 points, total. Think about it.
What's the most interesting?
It’s been an odd season, but if you’ll excuse my personal bias, it has to be the sheer and utter clusterfuck that is the New York Knickerbockers. A few years ago, I recall thinking that “Layden sure is a fuck up, but that this has to end sooner or later. Just be patient”. I can’t believe it’s 2006. Not only is it 2006, but there is NO END IN SIGHT. Not only is there no end in sight, but Zeke still has a job? Only in America.
Having read Chris Sheridan’s dissection of the Curry Trade, I officially want to kill someone – Bean style. If the Knicks were a corporation or a business, would this be allowed to happen? Wouldn’t someone launch a hostile takeover? Wouldn’t a government organisation look into what was happening and administer some god damned justice? Where’s Trump? Doesn’t he have a group of mercenaries? It just makes me angry. If Isiah is still around by the time Brooklyn gets the Nets, I’m jumping ship.
And who do you have picked as MVP?
Kobe is the best in the game. Bar none. Is he the MVP? No... at least, not yet. Bottom line is that the Lakes are barely over .500 and not even the best LA team in their division. As much as it pains me to admit it, it has to be Nash. The fact that the Solars can lose Amare and still maintain their pace is a testament to his value as a player. It’s a tough situation, because the Stones are the MVT. Everyone else pales in comparison at this stage.
That said, if Kobe averages 50 a game for the next few months and the Lakes take the div, I’ll change my vote. That negro is crazy.
That’s a given. Kobe... hell, anyone dropping 81 is just beyond comprehension. You mention that all he needs to do now is sleep with 20,000 women. Why stop there? Let’s send him to Iraq to kill 20,000 militants.
When the whole rape thing happened, a part of me, a dark disturbed part, secretly hoped that Kobe would go to jail. That’d he’d get 8-10 years and be out in 4. Whilst he was in the pokey, LBJ and Darko (!) would own the league. In the meantime, Kobe pulls a Max Cady. Can you imagine? An angry 30 year old, tattooed, ripped, and balding Kobe Bean Bryant getting out of prison? Now that’s drama.
I’d imagine him going for 60 against the LBJ Knicks, running into the stands, plunging his hand into David Stern’s chest, ripping his heart out and showing it to him before he died. But that’s a fiction. We all know that the Commish is made of steel and has no heart.
Speaking of which, did Charles E. Smith ever get out of Prison?
Back to the 81 game. People will invariably lament that Kobe is just “a scorer”, but to do so is shortsighted. Just how much of an accomplishment is 81 points? I was thinking back to great “one dimensional” scorers of times long gone and I thought of Dominique Wilkins. Now, ‘Nique was your prototypical scorer. A joy to watch, but widely criticized for being only that – a scorer.
Did Wilkins ever come close to doing what Bean did? Not by a long shot. So, let’s take it a step further. Nique’s defining game was arguably in 1988 in the infamous Boston Shootout with Bird. All time game. Wilkins was off the hook and Bird goes for 20 in the fourth. Epic performances from both players, but let’s look at the stats:
Wilkins 47. Bird 34.
81 points, total. Think about it.
What's the most interesting?
It’s been an odd season, but if you’ll excuse my personal bias, it has to be the sheer and utter clusterfuck that is the New York Knickerbockers. A few years ago, I recall thinking that “Layden sure is a fuck up, but that this has to end sooner or later. Just be patient”. I can’t believe it’s 2006. Not only is it 2006, but there is NO END IN SIGHT. Not only is there no end in sight, but Zeke still has a job? Only in America.
Having read Chris Sheridan’s dissection of the Curry Trade, I officially want to kill someone – Bean style. If the Knicks were a corporation or a business, would this be allowed to happen? Wouldn’t someone launch a hostile takeover? Wouldn’t a government organisation look into what was happening and administer some god damned justice? Where’s Trump? Doesn’t he have a group of mercenaries? It just makes me angry. If Isiah is still around by the time Brooklyn gets the Nets, I’m jumping ship.
And who do you have picked as MVP?
Kobe is the best in the game. Bar none. Is he the MVP? No... at least, not yet. Bottom line is that the Lakes are barely over .500 and not even the best LA team in their division. As much as it pains me to admit it, it has to be Nash. The fact that the Solars can lose Amare and still maintain their pace is a testament to his value as a player. It’s a tough situation, because the Stones are the MVT. Everyone else pales in comparison at this stage.
That said, if Kobe averages 50 a game for the next few months and the Lakes take the div, I’ll change my vote. That negro is crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment