Emergency Code Red

Don't pass to this guy. He's a chucker.

The Heat are in trouble. Yes, Shaq has been out for the last 3 weeks, and maybe they still need some time to gel -- but there's one guy who, I'm regretably confident, just won't get it. He didn't get it in Boston, nor in Dallas, Atlanta, and back to Boston again; and he won't get it in Miami. He's a cancer, and Riles was a twat for trading for him.

An open letter to Antoine Walker:


'Toine, buddy, time for a check up from the neck up. You are not a point guard; there's no reason whatsoever that you should be dribbling the ball cross court, or in traffic. My grandma's got a better handle than you. You are slowly and steadily proving your critics right: you are a terrible decision maker; you always want to be the hero; and you don't deserve all the PT Stan Van Jeremy is inexplicably giving you. Why Shaq hasn't punched you in the face is beyond me. If you were my teammate, and if I were as big and imposing as Shaq, I certainly would. And I'd be doing the team a big favor.

In contrast, Jason Williams seems to have reigned himself in. He played a good game today against the Mavs, and didn't pull any of the dumbass moves (pull-up 3-point attempt with 20 seconds on the shot clock; fancy, unnecessary behind the back pass...) that have become his trademark. Here's hoping he continues to play sound ball like he did today, even though the Heat did lose to a superior Mavs team.

And just how good are the Mavs? Seriously, it's hard to pinpoint what makes them so scary. Their defence looks impenetrable, their players all seem to know their roles...and then there's Dirk, who should be the first name uttered as soon as MVP talk begins. Miami really never had a chance, and it appears the Mavs didn't even switch into second gear.

Some other NBA-related thoughts:

- What the fuck is wrong with the Pacers? Is it that hard for them to adjust with Ron Artest back? They have what should be the best team in the L that doesn't rhyme with Dan Pantonio, but so far they have been underachieving prodigiously. And I can't understand why.

- Will Chris Paul be an [Golden Ticket] All-Star this year? If he is, it would likely mean Sam Cassell won't, and if the Clips keep things up, that'd be a shame. By the way, has 'ol Bug-Eyes ever been an All-Star? I don't recall, but Chris Gatling has, so I guess anything is possible.

- Is Carmelo Anthony finally ready to rejoin the elite of his draft class? If he picks up more assists and improves his 3-point shooting (an atrocious 13% for the year) he is.

- Congrats to the Bulls and Wizards, who were able to hand home defeats to the Spurs and Pistons, respectively. Proper.