Christ on a bicycle

Bloody hell. Last night I went to bed around 12:30. At a quarter past one, I awoke, my forehead itching madly. It seems that, having avoided their wrath all summer, a fucking mosquito finally preyed upon me. Last year something similar occured: while I was sleeping one bit me on the hand. That caused my hand to swell to almost twice its normal size, and I couldn't make a fist. I'm not kidding; I have an allergic reaction to mosquito bites. That was annoying, but this is downright depressing. I have a knot the size of a tangerine on my forehead, and my left eye is swollen almost completely shut. Truthfully, I look retarded. Moreso than usual. How the hell am I supposed to go outside looking like this? I'm a monster.

In an effort to cheer myself up, here are some pictures of the little girl. I hope these work until 5pm or so, which is when I'll start to drink away the pain. TGIF.

PS - Wifey kilt that them 'skeeter but real good. You go, girl.









And my personal favorite:


"Darling. Light of my life. I'm not going to hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, 'I'm not going to hurt you.' I'm just going to bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash them right the fuck in."*

* From Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, lest I be accused of child abuse.