Gun Radish and the Way of the Watermelon

Some random thoughts on a humid Friday night...

1) Regardless of what you might think of their politics (i.e. "kill whitey"), if you've never heard it before do yourself a favor and listen to Dead Prez's Hip Hop. If you have heard it before, listen to it again. I realize that the song was released over 6 years ago, but it's still the illest beat ever. When a rumor was going about recently that Nas had bought a beat from the Neptunes for over 6 million dollars (or something like that), I thought "it can't be better than the beat for Hip Hop, no way."

Who produced said beat? Answer: Dead Prez is credited, with Hedrush given a co-production credit (the beat was probably bought from them is why).

And since I boldly had to go there and claim it as the illest beat, here's the shortlist of tracks that come almost as close to topping it:

[note: just the beat, not the lyrics, etc.]

- Public Enemy No. 1 (Public Enemy, Yo! Bumrush the Show)

- Slow Down (Brand Nubian, One For All)

- Sour Times (Portishead, Dummy)

- Mary Jane (Rick James, Come Get It!)

- Top Billin' (Audio 2, What More Can I Say?)

That's how it is. You can ask Giz.

(my apology to Edie Brickell for listing a song which samples her hit "What I Am," rather than the original; as well as an apology to Bob James for not listing "Take Me To The Mardi Gras.")

2) If you think I'm way off base with the above, please note that I also consider Eli Wallach's portrayal of Tuco from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly to be possibly the greatest character portrayal in a movie, ever. Only Yoda comes a close second.

3) Word on the Street is that Little Brother's The Minstrel Show is a classic record. I don't really know what to say about that. I'm not a fan of Little Bro, but only because I haven't even listened to their first album, The Listening. I like the few songs I've heard that 9th Wonder has produced for other artists such as Masta Ace and Jay-Z, but the two MCs, Phonte and Pooh, do nothing for me (though the lyrics I heard from Minstrel seemed a step-up).

What I don't like about this situation, though, is Little Brother being forced upon me by mainstream and underground outlets alike, as though they're here to save hip-hop. I think it's up to the fans to determine that one, thank you very much. I remember another few groups that, in the recent past, were at one time touted as being the Saviors of Hip-Hop. They were Slum Village and the Black-Eyed Peas. The former -- once, inconceivably, heralded as Native Tongue torch-bearers -- is a good cure for insomnia, while the latter is hip-hop's answer to Limp Bizkit: a group that couldn't hack it on their own terms and which had to pander to the lowest common denominator to make it big.

Forgive me for being a little cynical for believing that LB isn't the next De La or Tribe. Know who's the next De La or Tribe? The Roots. They've released 5 major-label records. Show 'em some fucking love.

(I'm still gonna buy The Minstrel Show when it's available, and I hope I eat crow.)

4) Lastly, 2 e-mails. The first is from my brother, the second from a "teacher" whom I once worked with. They're quite a read. Both are unedited, by the way. I hope you have as much fun reading them as I did.

Hey Jerk x 2,

젨젨 It's a:?You are an ugly, cunt, cum bubble, who jacks off so much your skinny rod has been mistaken for ichiban! And you would rather suck dick than eat breakfast!?I've seen some pretty gay looking gays. But you're the gayest of the gay, you gay! Wynonna Judd says you love to do the gravy train!

and

hey just to let?everybody know whatsa up. this is a bulk email so it is derected to a lot of people

**** and i left taiwan and we were in a hurry to leave. we packed and left in the same day we had a lot to do that day and on the way to do things **** had a car accicdent nobody was hurt but we had to pay NT$ 3,000 to the lady whose car **** hit. we went to a travel agent to get tickets and we couldn't get a flight to alaska or denver that night so we flew to LA after ariving in La we tried to get a rental car but **** left her drivers license in taiwan so we couldn't pick one up. so at 2am outside of LAX i had to drag our 4 bags and 2 carry ons across the parking lot to a hotel if you know where LAX airport is its near inglwood, watts and compton not the best neighborhoods. we found a hotel and stayed there 3 nights waiting for ****'s mother to fed ex us her drivers licens from taiwan but it was a pretty bad area even in the day

one time we were walking across the street to 7/11 and **** asked me why thyese 6 black guys were sitting out side whereing all?the same color clothes (gang bangersa)she asked don't they have jobs.? i told her not to point and the next day we US$80 to take a cab to hollwood to a different hotel with no wheels LA was hard to get around we took a bus at random trying to find an internet place and finally found one but we had to wait at a cfe for a couple hours before they opened and there where a truck load of guys with each other making out?with each other well the next day we got the fedex package and pickup a rental car.

we drove to Las vagus and blow 70 bucks on the rolet table an rhode the roller coaster on top of new york new york hotel then drove to denver to meet a old friend from taiwan he is a super guy he has this giant (bigger than i have ever seen including at strores) Tv with 5.1 surround sound system he hooked me up with 3 different kinds of bud. we stayed with him for a couple days and went to 6 flags in denver. we rhode all the coasters ahad a smoke on the farris wheel and then him **** and his womna rhode a thing that they put you into a harnest and pull you up 10 stories then you pull the rip cord and flylike super man. (i chikened out and shot the vidio instead of riding) super time

then we drove the rental car down to texas and dropped it off in corpus christi texas where my uncle lives. we stayed with him and helped him out washing cars and stuff we went to alot of baseball games ther they have a minor league team and my uncle always hooked us up with free tickets. we bought a car from him a 2000 ford toras and we drove it up to indiana it will be my grandmothers birthday soon so we will stay for that and try to sell that car here my uncle has dealer friends here so as soon as we sell it we can get some more cheap and try to flip them next

we still plan on going to atlanta to see a buddy from taiwan as well but no time frame for that and we will go this week to the biggest amusment park in the USA its in ohio a 3 hoiur drive only one problem i have ran out of smokeables if anybody knows some cool people in detrot, chicago, or any place with in a 5 hour drive plaes let me know my lungs are feeling to healthy!!!!!!!

well thats about all from our trip so far

keep in touch

*** and ****