Bundang-gu, represent, represent

Just now I desultorily discovered that Bundang, the area in which I live, has its own page on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundang). While brief, it is quite accurate.

Know what doesn't have its own Wikipedia page? Ilsan. Take that, Ilsan!

(If you think I'm trying to start a Springfield/Shelbyville rivalry here, you're right.)

I realize that this entry is a tad short, and that people who don't live in Bundang probably couldn't care less, so, in an attempt to make it up to you, I give you this, a post that I wrote last night but couldn't be bothered to finish. The original title was "Them's Fightin' Words," but due to the circumstances of it winding up in this post, "Stale Donuts" seems more apt. Enjoy!

...

Opinions are like assholes: they're relatively circular, usually smell quite unpleasant (though partisan followers will, despite evidence to the contrary, insist they taste sweeter than sugar-covered sugar cubes), are the butt -- no pun intended, but pleasingly welcomed -- of a million jokes and jest, and they occassionally are sewn closed until someone keeps feedin' and feedin' and feedin' the proprietor of said asshole/opinion. It's a familiar axiom, I'm sure.

That said (a Christmas goose for the reader who can make sense of the above; I can't), I thought I'd bombard you with some opinions. They may be unpopular, they may not; regardless, I refuse to justify anything found below.

1) W. Somerset Maugham, while perhaps not the greatest storyteller ever, is certainly the most beautifully-gifted writer of English prose the world has ever known.

2) On the flip-side, Ernest Hemingway was an untalented hack whom people with no imagination or real artistic appreciation pretend is so significant because a) doing so makes them feel special, knowing they could write a better novel than the man, and b), because they find his personal life apart from his novels and stories -- which, while adventurous, doesn't make his tales any less shittier -- enthralling.

If he were alive today, I'd certainly watch a reality TV program centered around him. He was an interesting guy, for sure; but I'd never call him a great, or even a good, writer. He wrote like I dance; which is to say, fucking horribly.

To put it in a way Hemingway aficianados will understand:

I don't like him. He did not write well. His books are boring. They are not fun. They are boring.

3) Mariah Carey is an enigma wrapped in a fucked-up-chick-who-likes-to-drink-champagne-while-swimming: http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=244

4) The cheese/sausage thingies omnipresent in convenient stores here are neither cheese nor sausages. And they're hard to open.

5) A-Rod has AIDS.

6) The Holocaust never happened. No, wait -- I meant Gremlins 2: The New Batch never happened.