Sometimes I Wish My Surname Were Jones...

...so I could name my next child Basketball.

Some thoughts on the NBA off-season:

1) The Shareef Abdur "Radio" Raheem non-trade: I don't know who to believe here. 'Reef was telling the truth when he said that that knee injury happened a long time ago and that he's never missed a single game due to a knee injury, but, on the other hand, the Nets aren't dumb (although that might be debatable); they certainly wanted Raheem to play for them, and he likely would have had a positive impact on the team. Then again, there's a lot of money involved, and just maybe The Nets' physicians know something we don't. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but Shareef's comments about "damage control" may have been a Freudian slip. It'll be interesting to see him play this year, on the Blazers or another team. He's now got something to prove, and will have the Nets office eating heaps of crow if he plays well -- injury-free -- all season. Even better will be seeing him play against the Nets. Mark that on your calendar.

2) Damon Stoudamire signing with Memphis: I bet Damon hates being known as the other Stoudamire. Here's a guy who played great, won ROY, got nervous staying in T.O., asked for a trade, got it, then wallowed in mediocrity in Portland. He played OK last season, and how couldn't he? It was a contract year. But with the Grizz being a significant step up in terms of talent (also debatable), and under the coaching of The Czar, I'm hoping he plays at the level he's capable of. Here's a guy that should be the best point guard in the L not named Steve Nash (or maybe Jason Kidd). I'm rooting for him. And hoping he doesn't introduce Pau Gasol to his water bong.

3) The Heat Mega-Deal: I thought Eddie Jones was a good defender. He choked like the proverbial chicken (as did Damon Jones, for whom I have nothing but love) during the playoffs, but the guy can play D. Now they have James Posey, a very adept defender in his own right (if he can stay healthy), and two chuckers. I like Jason Williams...a little. I get tired of his gangster rap attitude (I had actually thought he'd given it up as he entered into obscurity while playing in Memphis) and his three-point shots with no teammates on the offensive boards, but if he tries hard -- really, really hard -- he can be a good PG for the Heat. Hopefully Shaq and Wade will force him to get with the program. Same goes for 'Toine. I say keep alternating between him starting and coming in off the bench to replace Posey or Haslem during the season. I just hope this year's Heat team, which I'm rooting for to win the Championship, isn't the '05/'06 season's version of the '03/'04 Mavericks.

4) I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict that Jerome James will have a pretty good season in NY. He's an underachiever who has the talent and body to be one of the top 5 centers in the East, even though that isn't saying much.

5) Good on Ray Allen for staying in Seattle. Bad on Nate McMillan for jumping ship (to Portland no less). I enjoyed watching the Sonics last season. Hopefully McMillan's departure won't mean they'll revert back to suck mode.

6) It's going to be fun watching Cleveland this year. They're going to have to name the Hughes/Lebron connection "Steals INC."...or something a lot more catchier and creative.

My wish list for the upcoming season:

- I want this to be the year that Yao Ming (Chairman Yao, by the way, is the coolest nickname in a long while) starts to dominate. [Bill Walton voice] Get some confidence, big man! He's seems too much of a nice guy to become the L's top Center after Shaq retires. Yao's PR people should seriously consider fashioning him as the Chinese Ivan Drago -- if only so that we can hear him say "you will lose," "I will break you," and "if he dies, he dies" (possibly in reference to T-Mac after he fails to see/ignores the big guy open for the millionth time).

- I want Dwyane Wade to kick it up another notch like Emeril. 3rd season's the charm. Give me a 60-point game, or possibly a quadruple-double. As a side note, I'm looking forward to the Heat games that will be shown on Korean TV, partly because it will be my only chance to wear my custom Wade jersey, which is too f-ing large for me to wear outside for fear that a US military MP will think me an army brat and haul me in for truancy.

- It would be nice if the Raptors could do some thangs, sort of like the Bulls last season (who, in the immortal words of Craig Mack, "won't be around next year" for the playoffs). That or have Rob Babcock decapitated live on TV by a disgruntled fan, possibly my brother.

- I want the Suns to rival -- if not best -- last year's remarkable season. It'll be fun to see Nash and (especially) Stoudamire Version 2.0. And I want Joe Johnson back. No hard feelings, Joe.

- A repeat for Los Sandwiches.