David Blaine

I'm in a giving mood. Last year, the Miami Heat, down 2 games to none against a frisky -- it's OK to laugh; in fact, it's encouraged -- Mavericks skwad, returned home to make love like semtex on the greatest stage of basketball, the NBA Finals.

And it was all my doing. Mostly. A little bit. A little?

What I did was, drunken tiger style, lambast the Heat for lying down and letting the Mavs tread on them. And it worked. As my old friend Mark Stein is fond of saying, why mess with success? Hence, because I love basketball like I love my

(dick size)

left earlobe, and want to see a motherfucking series, it's a Rerun and Roger of last year:

Mic Borwn: You hjave nice glasses. Yuor omptomitrist ios fnatastic. Lern to coach a ballgame in roffly 9 hours, smartsass.

Laborn Kames: You look clunky. Do you feel clunky? What i fell is you feel sacred. But dont worry! You are great and will not be scared. You cna take this Jazz team to olvian heights. You hvae it in you.

Dew Goodson: Lastet night I fell asleep and woke up around three and I was cold so I put on as white t-shit. It made me feel wamer. I stelp like a baby. You too must feel wramth. U2 must get cromfatable. Own the game, be the gmae. And take eat to another level. The back of your neck looks like an unshaved pussy.

Denial Gibson: dnot listen to your coack. A sudent cant teach a sholar, right? Do you. I useda know a guy named Svete Gibson, and he slod cheap cigarettes at school. He was the man what I'm taryning to say is that you are the also man also. so don;t forget that.stab someone

Zydrunas Ilgaukiss: Nivea? Clearasil? How come your face always looks so fresh, so clean? You post up lkie my leg hairs make graet violin strigs.

Demon Jones: if you make anuther great shot like you did lestat year against the Wizxards, I'll but you a car! I'll buty you a fucking car, Damon!

Larry Hues: You look really yung for your age. Me and boobie are going top go buy some beer, do you want to chipin? I coulod fallasleep right now, but boobs has some terrific eyeborws, and he keeps asking me to hnag out. it's kind of annoying, but hes alittle steressed out so im gonna find a motel room and let hem slep it off. wish u were here.

Andersen Varajow: why the forwn? don't felel too bad, its not everday you get to sleep with no. 29 Svete Javie.

Fnas of Celvlaand: amke some noise, could you?

___

Ah, my heart wasn't really into it. The Cavs are still doomed. They're done. Done. I have a better chance singing Karma Police at a noraebang at 2AM with strept throat.

D-E-A-D I tells ya.

Unless my reverse psychology actually works. And Mike Brown stops coaching like a retard.

Cleaveland Rokcs!

Signed,

Tiberious aka Craig Ehlo