Third of the Trio

You may recall this post from early last month, in which I solicited for a new contributor for Psychedelic Kimchi . Well, the wait is finally over. Our new regular, TMH, is on board. We're like Bebe's Kids over here. We don't die, we multiply.

He's going to hit you off with an inaugural post any day now. In the meanwhile, here are some brief musings:

1) I really need a name for these random thoughts posts. Believe me, Sandra Bullock Used To Be a Man was definitely not my finest hour. If you have a suggestion, send me an e-mail. So far all I've got is Mental Diarrhea. It's smart, but not solid enough.

(Please be reassured that that last part made me cringe probably as much, or more, than you are right now.)

2) ...but if I were to start a rap group, consisting of expats living in Korea, hands down we'd be called The Foreign Objects. I don't think I'm being too overzealous in pulling a Jack Horner and stating that's a great name! Since I have no plans to start a rap group, though, I'm willing to sell the rights to the name for 1 million won. Or possibly a large bag of Munchos potato crisps.

3) I don't want to sound as though I'm bragging, because, after all, it is the Internet, and not a reputable publication such as The Source (*snicker*), but my Top Ten Hip-Hop Albums list was featured on byroncrawford.com here, and Bomani Jones was kind enough to drop a comment here. Props to both. Now it's just a matter of time until Roger Ebert recognizes my gangster and chooses me as his apprentice, to take over for him when he retires/dies.

4) Why is it that so many bad things that have happened to me over the past few years involve T-shirts?

- On vacation during the summer of 2002, I paid a ridiculous amount for an Adidas soccer shirt, which I wore once and then left behind at some shitty hotel in Fredericton, New Brunswick. Maybe that was for the best, though, because my wife kept pointing out (and laughing) that the shirt was practically sheer and that she could see my nipples. Still, I hate losing shit. And that was the last time that I've lost something.

- Last summer, someone put too much bleach in the wash and ended up putting a big white circle on my lucky b-ball shirt. I haven't hit a half-court shot since.

- I recently ordered, on-line, a "variation" Captain America T-shirt: a black shirt with a red communist star on the chest. I realize that ironic shirts are about as cool these days as listening to Creed, but I don't care; that shirt was dope. I was going to wear that badboy proudly. But it was lost during delivery, and after numerous e-mails to the company from which I ordered it, I got this:

The package was sent out and should have arrived there long ago. I am afraid that the package must have been lost or stolen in transit.. There is no tracking number because it is an international order which means that the package is handed off from the US Post Office to the S. Korean Post Office.

Unfortunately, there is nothing that we can do. We do our best to ship packages as soon as possible to our customers, but since items that travel internationally are not tracked they tend to get lost or stolen.

Fucking lovely. I wish that little disclaimer was visible to me before I threw 50 dollars away, you fucking fucks (to quote Timothy Treadwell).

5) Since Salma Hayek turned my penis into an icicle, I've decided to do Psychedelic Kimochi posts only if I'm completely blown away by something beautiful. But I couldn't let this and especially this go unnoticed*. I think the lovely Ms. Han's bosom is perceived as a national security threat, at least to horny Korean teenagers. That would explain why, in every television appearance she makes (be it dramas, commercials, or otherwise), she's wearing black to deceptively conceal her ample chest, or she's wearing so many layers of clothes that she looks like Ralphie's brother from A Christmas Story. The most flagrant example of this is the recent Rush-N-Cash commercial where she's holding placards in front of her for the commercial's duration. Come on!

SK needs to make a lot of progress in many areas, and while I generally eschew politics and leave them to old angry dudes with high blood pressure, this is one issue which I can get behind and support. I believe that concealing Ms. Han's lovely pair represents a bigger issue, namely that women with large, natural chests are seen as too sexy (like that's even possible) or slutty, even. And it is my duty, I am convinced, to educate the world of this grave misconception.

Chae-young, darling, I got your back.

* if you're having trouble with this one, blame it on the man. Here's an alternative, though I'm pretty sure it's been photoshopped to withhold the truth .