Good Intentions

The stage was set. The stars were in alignment. The air was fresh. But.
We couldn't deliver the PKast, so we'll give you the next-best thing, which was what we discussed while awaiting the grand entrance of the inscrutable TMH.

2:14 PM

K
give me a sec

I have to set some shit up

denz
10-4

K
Your assertiveness frightens me

denz
Randomness

I pressed icons at random

Spark
Where's TMH?

denz
Possibly bathing

Spark
Hah.

denz
That's what bald guys do

constantly

Spark
He's the steering wheel of this broke down duster.

denz
and IDJ is the rudder

K
what about idealblowhard?

Spark
IDJ is the glove compartment.

denz
NYC is apparently not a hotbed of technology

K
true that. I like to think of IDJ as the heater core

denz
The Yontan

Spark
I think he's busy doing the times crossword puzzle...on Mars.

denz
The Mars Version? It's all "what's a four letter word for red?"

Spark
Hard.

denz
True

Martians, man

K
four letter word for red? cunt?

Spark
Blue.

denz
What cunts are you guys in? Tell her to take some anti-inflammatories

Spark
My dog's having her period.

K
I'm in the hagwon cunt

Spark
This is important to know.

K
and your dog's a beeotch

denz
Dogs have periods?

Spark
Like twice a year, I think.

denz
Convenient. I suppose they just eat that shit right up

Spark
Yeah, but it lasts for like 5 weeks.

denz
No need for dogpons or anything. Jesus, a 5 week bleeder

K
sounds like
....

Spark
At least she can't talk.

K
I don't know, sounds like something

Spark
WHERE'S TOM?

K
easy, killer, no need for ALL CAPS

Spark
I turned off Hell's Kitchen for this.

denz
Sporadic caps is fine

K
Give TMH a few minutes

denz
He's workshopping some concepts

Spark
I'd give him the rest of my life. BTW, Jumper's not a bad flick.

denz
It's getting panned here

Spark
It's got like 30% on the Tomatometer, but it's pretty good, actually.

denz
That said, Australians struggle with concepts

Spark
In a comic booky way.

K
saw American Gangster last night

Spark
Gut?

K
and Australians need to stop struggling with concepts

denz
You say this like it hasn't been said

K
like K and customs officials, like that

denz
You need to stop suggling things in your arse.

suggling? That'll work

Spark
New word!

K
American Gangster was good, but it starts out slow

Spark
Sounds sexual.

denz
And slightly brown

K
I was suggling with the film for a bit

Spark
That's your review. Post it on PK.

denz
Jameson, here.

Spark
Like the scotch?

denz
Like Peter Parker

K
Paaaarrker!

denz
You should pull the whole editor thing

K
Get some better pictures

denz
was he an editor?

Spark
I was debating whether to do the PKast while drunk.

denz
What do you call the guy that runs the newspaper?

Spark
JJJ is the EIC

denz
Right

K
I'm post-drunk, does that count?

denz
That works

Spark
Me, too; but I could do without the headache.

denz
It's 4:30pm here. I had some bad curry last night after having ramen for lunch
I think I qualify

Spark
I got cheese ramen at the Hyundai dept. sto.

denz
Brave

Spark
That ish better satisfy.
K
cooking ramen right now and the mention of curry just makes me hungry

don't be twisted like that...I can't handle the pain

Spark
Dude, I had the worst lunch: chamchi jigae with no fucking tuna. And that shit was bland.

K
so it wasn't chamchi jigae

it was just jigae

Spark
No, it was like kimchi chigae with little flecks of tuna.

Fuck little flecks of tuna.

K
okay then

denz
Tuna flecks

K
you misled me with the name. shame on you

Spark
Ever had Chang beer?

denz
Of course

Spark
Is it any good?

denz
It's not Singha but it's okay

Spark
But it's got an elephant on the label. It better show and prove.

K
*Why* do you have all this Thai beer in your fridge? and why am I not drinking it?

denz
K where are you in Korea?

Spark
Girlfriend's friend works at a Thai restaurant, so she stole a bunch of beer and food for me.

K
around Anyang

is this friend of hers available?

Spark
Nope. She's not that sexy anyways.

K
I mean, I'd be willing to put up with some shit for Thai food

denz
But she steals booze

Spark
Hah.

denz
That's sexy

K
I know!

Spark
Definitely. Where's Frank? I mean TMH.

denz
Abagnale?

Spark
Is that the guy from Catch Me if You Can?

denz
He is

Spark
I win a prize!

denz
I read that book in Thailand, pre-movie. They really underplayed what an egotistical fuck he is

K
heh

Spark
Hey, I know egotistical fucks.

denz
Me, too

K
But I know egotistical fucks that have Thai beer

top that

denz
That is difficult to top

Spark
Here's my question: drink beers all in one go, or have one a night for 4 days?

denz
You forgot two-a-night for two days

K
You don't need to ask my opinion

Spark
Or 3 one night then 1 the next.

K
you know what I'd say

denz
or, alternating zero beers and one beer for 8 days

Spark
The possibilities are endless.

denz
Actually, I think that's it

Spark
Heh.
denz
Should we ask K's opinion?

K
Well

Again, I feel misled

Spark
'Drink them all now, fucker!'

denz
Not until TMH is recording

K
E was all like 'I have a fridge full of Thai beer' and it turns out that he only has four

denz
It's a small friedge, right?

Spark
Maybe I should have it with Cass, sort of like torturing then rewarding myself.

It's really small.

denz
Or you could mix it

Call it Changass

K
proper

denz
Which is what you get from Thai chicks, anyway

K
Last night I had the displeasure of Cass Red

Spark
Learn your lesson!

K
yeah

Fuck, man, I was just so depressed...

Spark
It's not worth it!

K
Agreed

denz
What's Cass Red?

K
but it's got bang for the buck

Spark
6.9%

K
It's this newish beer, that is 6.9%

denz
High-rev count

Spark
Anyone had this Italian beer called Bonno Moretti or something like that?

K
if by high-rev count you mean high-shits count, then yes

denz
(C)ass Red

Spark
IDJ is drinking it on Mars.

K
four letter word for red!

denz
Cass!

Spark
Nice!

denz
Beautiful

Have you spoken to IDJ lately?

K
but my toilet isn't nice

Spark
Not in a long-ass time.

denz
He's spending too much clock on Expatkorea

K
he's very elusive nowadays, except for Expatkorea

denz
Getting into it with the Angrymen

Spark
He told me he was making a trip back to Korea this spring, but we all know that IDJ says stuff.

denz
He needs to channel that rage into obscure PK submissions

Preferably involving pictures of attractive NYC women

But I dream

Spark
I think TMH fell asleep.

K
But IDJ an enigma, you can't handle that

denz
Who can?

Lakes are killing the Clips

K
He's like John Shaft

Spark
I miss basketball.

K
he's a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman

denz
True that

Spark
He's like Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen, except for the omnipotence and blue skin.

K
indeed

denz
His skin is very pale blue

K
and that woman is probably sixteen years old, but still, only she understands him

Spark
It's a white-blue.

denz
It is

Chris Paul

Spark
I've sadly never watched him play.

denz
What? Really?

Spark
Seriously.

denz
Ah man

Spark
I haven't watched a game all year.

Not a full one.

denz
Yeah, I mainly rely on bootleg torrents and the like

K
I'm already confused

denz
Me too

Spark
Fuck it; let's talk about girls.

K
mostly by how shitty my ramen was

denz
Sure. Mine's 7 months pregnant

Spark
Put some cheese in it!

denz
But has only gained 6 kilos

K
and by the fact that I don't have any other food in the apartment

denz
I am liking my odds

Spark
Holy shit.

K
6 kilos?

denz
It's a unit of measurement

K
E's nutsac weighs more than that

Spark
(It's like 14 ounds.)

K
or...so I've been told

Spark
pounds.

I feel fat.

denz
What are you - 67?

K
So the baby is definitely a boy, then?

Spark
69

K
6.9%

denz
Getting up there

Spark
Eerie.

denz
Baby had a mean set of cock and balls onthe ultrasound

K
I'm already jealous!

denz
So unless it sheds that pre-birth, I am calling it a boy

haha

Spark
TMH hates us.

denz
I am going to have to run. I am running some training tomorrow

If TMH gets one, let him know he was late

Spark
Aight.

K
Ten bucks says that TMH is having sex with his wife as we speak, and he's all like 'I gotta get the PKast going'

Spark
Might post this on PK. Anything I should censor?

denz
My spelling

K
and she's like 'Don't stop, but take off the fake beard'

Spark
lol

K
"I am running some training tomorrow" - honestly, I'm not even sure what that means

Spark
He's a drug mule.

denz
Now you know how I feel

Mule out.

Spark
You know how I can paste this into blogger?