Beat and Meat (Pt. One)

Like it or not, 2007 is nearly finished. It was a year of highs, and most certainly lows, but that's cool; I'm not one to complain about performances upon the World's stage, given that I play no part. I just do my job, listen to music, play video games, masturbate, swear as often as humanly possible, and eat a lot of steak. Basically, I'm Sparkles without the classy girlfriend (she's no girl, mind you), and minus the desire to write about the monumental size of my penis (mostly because I lack either, but mainly because such things don't concern me whatsoever).
On a totally unrelated note, you know what bothered me in 2007? The way Balboa has been duckin' me, it's a disgrace. You know what I mean, yes you do, but enough about that.




I tried to listen to a fair amount of recently released music this year, as opposed to reveling in past glories (even if, in the case of In Rainbows, I should ask the question of why). In the spirit of the fleeting season, I'd like to present a brief recap of my listening experiences, in no particular order.

A Weekend in the City, Bloc Party: the album began, and ended, rather magnificently but, in all honesty, the middle of the disc was mediocre at best. Still, Hunting for Witches is a fantastically catchy tune, so I'll forgive the British bastards.

Alpha, Sevendust: I'm not quite sure why I acquired this disc, but it served the purpose of giving me something like rock to engage. It seems like time is not the best pal of Lajon Witherspoon's project, but age is a bitch, so I'll forgive him, too.

April, VAST: speaking of an era past its prime, I get the impression that Jon Crosby keeps clinging to what once made him cool. Don't get me wrong, in that April is worthy of a listen, but is it anything comparable to the titular Visual Audio Sensory Theater, or Music for People? The short answer is a resounding no but, to be fair, the two aforementioned discs wouldn't be terribly impressive if newly released today. I still buy your discs, Crosby. Don't you fret one bit.

Because of the Times, Kings of Leon: I can't help but wonder if this is an album that our very own TMH would adore. I don't intend for the previous statement to be slanderous, it's just that I can't identify with this disc whatsoever, just as I lack the ability to fathom the intricacies of one Big T. Thus far.

Distance and Time, Fink: I thoroughly enjoyed Biscuits for Breakfast, and this album, while not quite as wondrous, still manages to press the right buttons for yours truly. I look forward to his next effort with muted anticipation. The fourth track, Blueberry Pancakes, manages to rock my balls, for your information.

Dumb Luck, Dntel: depending upon my mood, I either love, or loathe this disc. Bringing in random vagrants to contribute to an album doesn't endear me to your effort, Mr. Dntel, but I can't deny the rhythmic beats. You're on the fecal fence.

Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace, Foo Fighters: Dave! In Your Honor was an awesome, disc-spanning collection of tunes. The new album is great, and superior to your late-nineties attempts to cash in on the burgeoning grunginess-turned-skater crowd, so please don't misunderstand me. I just liked your previous effort a bit more.

I-Empire, Angels & Airwaves: is this a new face of rock? Is it progressive, or digressive? I can't say, nor can I determine if this album is preferable to We Don't Need to Whisper from 2006. Tom DeLonge is such a pretentious fuck (like a contributor to this site, no doubt) but, nonetheless, he is able to make a decent, interesting disc when he puts his heart into it. Much akin to the debut disc, I-Empire keeps you occupied, pleasantly enough.

I'll Sleep when You're Dead, El-P: bet you couldn't surmise that I was, initially, hesitant to listen to this album. I'm not well versed in hip-hoppish music (if you would classify Meline's masterpiece in such a way), and it took a significant amount of prodding from Sparkles to even acquire the disc. I'm grateful that he did, as El-P has created what is, in my mind, arguably the album of 2007, even if Habeas Corpses is a bit weak. I wouldn't begin to compare it to Fantastic Damage, as Sparkles would go ballistic, but even so...

In Rainbows, Radiohead: look, I'll be blunt in saying that the version I paid for, the version consisting of ten tracks, was a worthwhile addition to my CD collection, but it didn't knock the ears off of my penis, if you get my drift (Mr. Potato Head, that is). The later, additional tracks may offer a bulbous amount of orgiastic audio pleasure (as noted in a previous PK post) but the fact remains that Yorke and the gang could have done a whole lot more, the polished perfection of All I Need notwithstanding.

Life in Cartoon Motion, Mika: an ineffectual, inoffensive, and inarticulate but still jovial romp through an otherwise dismal year for feel-good music. It's like the A-Team of musical journeys, so to speak. Normally, the Scissor Sisters would fulfill my metrosexual quotient, but Mika was a plausible substitute.

Next episode, we delve into the far reaches of...I'm uncertain.

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KBlot