What do...

...yours truly, Roger Ebert, Johnny Marr, and a real estate agent from Richmond, Virginia have in common?

We all represent much-anticipated comebacks (bring back the fucking Fry Guys and I'm straight).

Obviously this latest bit of reportage is HUGE FUCKING NEWS, as evidenced by the fact that Yahoo! is running with it on their main page:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070502/ap_en_ot/maytag_repairman

(Copy and paste, bitches. Cuz that's what I firmly believe the Internet needs: less convenience.)

In closing, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that no one will ever, ever fill Gordon Jump's shoes. You may very well appear to fix a mean fridge, Mr. Jackson, but try guesting on Diff'rent Strokes and portraying a creepy old dude who molests Arnold's friend, Dudley, and then we'll talk.

NB - photo "borrowed" from the Hamilton Spectator's website, whose newsprint edition's front page, I'm not shy to tell you (again), a young Spark graced circa April 1990.