Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium -- Review

I'm not a Chili Peppers fan so much as I'm a John Frusciante fan. I like Kiedis, Flea and Smith, but Frusciante's my guy. And I believe he's the key to the Chili Peppers' success. A sublimely talented musician in the vein of Brian Wilson, Frusciante has a gift for melody. Many Peppers fans felt that 2002's By The Way was derivative of their previous album, Californication: too melodious and straying too far from the band's origins; but I felt it was their most accomplished effort. Certainly it was their most mature.

Their latest effort, the 2-disc Stadium Arcadium, has been called a hybrid of the Peppers' recent balladry and their early, funk-inspired zaniness. Is it a worthy addition to the band's oeuvre? Let us see:

Disc One: Jupiter

Dani California

This is the perfect pop song and a no-brainer as the album's first single. I love Frusciante's vocal harmonizing and guitar solos, especially the one near the end. Kiedis's lyrics are great, too, if a tad self-referential (California, rest in peace/simultaneous release). Flea's bass is similarly great, but that's usually the case, isn't it?

Snow ((Hey Oh))

A sweet-sounding tune that fits in with the sound on Californication and By The Way, without being redundant. The guitar which opens the song and plays for the first minute-and-a-half is terrific. Then, the tempo and melody change, taking you higher, then back to that simple loop. At over 5 minutes, it never grows tiresome. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Charlie

Very bass-driven. Definitely resembles the Peppers of old, despite Kiedis's crooning. Sounds like a jam session rather than an actual song, especially some of the lyrics, which are by no means noteworthy. Not terrible, but nothing special, either.

Stadium Arcadium

I have to admit that I'm disappointed with the album cover and title. Neither are very creative. This is another slower track. A tad underwhelming. Seems to be missing something.

Hump de Bump

That opening guitar chord is familiar as hell! Where is it from, Wooly Bully? Another funky track. I absolutely hated this upon first listen, and I still hate the corny title, but the track has since grown on me. Bonus points for the pots and pans percussion somewhere near the 2 and a half minute mark. I can totally picture some drunken frat kid vibing to this, which makes me a little sad. Still, not bad (word to JJ Fad/the capital of Pakistan is Islamabad).

She's Only 18

Bluesy. Awesome chorus. Love the vulgar lyrics, too.

Slow Cheetah

When the track picks up, Kiedis's singing is nice; however, the chorus' lyrics are nonsensical and borderline retarded. In fact, I don't recall another Peppers album with such poor songwriting. Another fairly underwhelming song, save for Kiedis' singing and the acoustic guitar. Some sonic experimentation is tacked on at the end. Meh.

Torture Me

Flea's bass starts things off, followed by Frusciante's propulsive guitar. The most thrash-worthy song of the album. Pretty good. Toss in some Mexican horns for good measure. Things slow down at the 2-minute mark, then get faster at the end. Mars Voltaesque. Frusciante puts on a guitar clinic.

Strip My Mind

Frusciante wails intermittingly throughout the track. Another ballad, which I'm partial to. Was this inspired by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

Especially In Michigan

Speaking of The Mars Volta, Omar Rodriguez-Lopez has a guitar solo here. Boss. This didn't stand out for me the first couple of times I heard it, but I've just realized what a good song it is. It's that guitar riding underneath the main track. Was this inspired by the Detroit Pistons? If anyone can make sense of the lyrics here I'll buy you a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. Totally silly, but in a fun sorta way.

Warlocks

Another bass-driven song. Kiedis's lyrics reach new, bizarre heights (ticky ticky tackita, tic tac toe/I know...everybody's an Eskimo). Again, not a big fan of the back-to-basics sound.

C'mon Girl

I resisted the urge to put a comma in the song's title. As I've reminded you before, Constant Reader, commas are so not rock-and-roll. This is a good song. Not great -- and I'm a little peeved that none of the first disc's songs have come close to matching the perfection of Dani California -- but I wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating crackers.

Wet Sand

I fucking hate wet sand, especially when it gets on the bottom of my feet after I've been swimming at the beach. And when it gets in my vagina. Mediocre, slow-tempo track. Gets better halfway through. Pretty great near the end, actually. To the band's credit, these songs never get boring, despite their length (only 5 songs on the first disc are shorter than 4 minutes).

Hey

Perhaps I spoke (wrote?) too soon. This song clocks in at 5:39, and, like talking to a corpse, it's boring!

(A small bag of Cheetos to whoever can identify that reference.)

Well, we still have another fourteen tracks to run through, but I need a breather. I'm going upstairs to masturbate. A big bag of Cheetos if you correctly spot that one. In all seriousness, I'm going to play basketball.

Disc Two: Mars

OK, just got back. Man, that was intense. I played for 3 hours. And some drunk guy tried to steal my backpack!

Desecration Smile

Like disc 1, disc 2 starts off with an incredible song. This is probably the best song on the album, actually. It should be included on a greatest hits compilation, if they release another one (which, knowing greedy record executives, is definitely).

Tell Me Baby

This is another bouncy, slap bass track. I like this song, but Kiedis's "rapping" is a tad annoying. It doesn't last long, though. I could vibe to this while driving my car, I guess. If I had a car that is.

Hard to Concentrate

The opening of this reminds me of a Kanye West song, the one I really hated from his last album (Addiction?). It's better than that, though. It's not mindblowing (a recurring theme on the album, unfortunately), but still pretty good. Better than a root canal, for sure.

21st Century

The opening here is reminiscent of The Clash's Ivan Meets GI Joe. Is Kiedis trying to make a poignant message? I'm not sure. Frusciante goes berserk at the end, but it feels out of place.

She Looks To Me

This could be a leftover from By The Way. It's pretty good, but a little redundant. Whatever. As you can probably tell, when it comes to the Chili Peppers I'm not that picky. Oh snap, I think Kiedis just sang "don't fade away like an ocean liner." I don't think Bob Dylan would turn green with envy if he were to hear that little gem.

Readymade

Sounds like a RATM/Audioslave song. No complaints. I think this is about Hot Pockets. Man, I could really go for one of those right now. Joking aside, it's a pretty good song. Zeppelinesque in parts. Frusciante gives his guitar another workout. Peep the breakdown near the end. The Rick Rubin touch.

If

Sounds a bit like a lullabye. At 2 minutes 52 seconds, it's the album's shortest song.

Make You Feel Better

If you've heard John Frusciante's Shadows Collide With People (an outstanding album, by the way), this might remind you of that. Probably the album's 3rd or 4th best track. Kiedis gets intense on the final verse. Pretty syrupy topic, but I don't think anyone buys a Chili Peppers album to meditate on existentialism and the like.

Animal Bar

I wonder, do slow cheetahs hang out at the Animal Bar? Sounds a bit like The Smashing Pumpkins 1979. Not nearly as good as that song, though.

So Much I

Sentence fragments are rock-and-roll. One of the album's lesser tracks, saved only by its chorus (a theme here).

Storm In A Teacup

Save for the fucking retarded news reporter guy talking throughout the song, the bass here is in full effect. I hated this upon first listening, but it too has grown on me. Like a fungus. The time signature changes are nice. Has a little bit of everything.

We Believe

Starts off with a boring loop, not unlike Hard to Concentrate. When it picks up, it sounds almost like a Brit Pop tune. Not very impressive.

Turn It Again

At just over 6 minutes, this is the album's longest track. Sounds similar to something off of Mother's Milk. I guess it's supposed to be epic or something, but it didn't impress me much (god, that just put that annoying Shania Twain song in my head; time for a bullet to the brain).

Death of a Martian

Just as disc 1 and disc 2 begin with the album's two best songs, they also both end with two horrible ones. Ugh.

Conclusion: If this were pared down to the best 14 tracks from both discs, we might have one of the Chili Peppers best releases. But with all the filler, I can't in good conscience call this anything more than a fairly decent album. Still, it's priced the same as most regular albums, so you don't feel as though you chucked your money away. At least I didn't.

I'm still a little vexed that Kiedis and Flea both called this the best thing they've ever done, though.

3.5/5 *_*