Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Fort Minor, The Rising Tide: Review

Sometimes I'm a sucker for hyperbole. After reading a few glowing reviews of this album, I decided to put my apprehensions aside and purchase it -- despite the fact that the lead MC is Linkin Park's Mike Shinoda.

Hey, I know Shinoda is an avid underground hip-hop fan, but that still doesn't change the fact that he sounds like a rent-a-rapper from one of those early 90s techno records. If you look up the word "vanilla" in the dictionary, you might read see Mike Shinoda's rapping style.

Then again, the album is executive produced by Mr. Def Jam himself, Shawn Carter (aka Jay-Z), so it can't be that bad, right?

Peep game:

Introduction
This is eerily reminiscent of the intro for Cage's Hell's Winter. Which is a good thing: it's brief and to the point like a good intro should be, and it's always fun to hear Jay-Z talk. He sounds like a cross between Kermit the Frog and somebody's grandmother.

Remember The Name
It's a good thing that dude inlisted Styles of Beyond to assist him on half of the album's tracks, because I don't think anyone could bear to listen to a whole album with Shinoda as the sole MC. This beat is nice: sharp violins and a thumping beat. The beats are definitely the album's strong point. I think Shinoda's half-Japanese, but on the mic he sounds like the whitest of white boys.

Right Now
Thankfully this isn't a remake of that Van Halen song that was used in a Pepsi commercial about 15 years ago. I'm not a big fan of emo hip-hop, but Black Thought's guest verse on this is incredible. Saves the song, actually.

Petrified
This is seriously one of the worst things I've heard in my entire life. It sounds like a Will Smith song, or what Kevin Federline's solo album will probably sound like. Even the Cypress Hillesque screeches don't help improve this awful, awful song. Of course, it's the album's first single [throws up in mouth].

Feel Like Home
OK, back to normalcy. The beat reminds me of something off of Chronic 2001. Shinoda has skills as a producer, no doubt. He should be producing people with some talent on the mic (S.O.B. is meh at best).

Where'd You Go
More emo stuff, although the piano and singing on this song hooked me. The awesome drum beat helped, too. I'm going to make some hot chocolate and sit up on my sofa in my fuzzy bunny slippers. This probably should have been the first single.

In Stereo
Daaayum! That's a beat! I think Dr. Dre and Timbaland just turned green with envy. If I had a car, I'd definitely crank this one up on my way to the Dairy Queen.

Back Home
Common's on this, doing his new-millenium Common thing where all his verses sound the same. Another strong beat. Marginal thumbs up.

Cigarettes
Shinoda compares hip-hop to cigarettes. Suburban high school and college kids find it profound as hell. This sounds like a Geto Boys beat from the early 90s. I think I'm going to head over to the corner store and pick up some Marlboros.

Believe Me
Ironically, this sounds like a Linkin Park song, only it's got some uncredited dude doing a Chester Bennington impression. Weird. The up-tempo beat isn't bad, but this song should have been a bonus track on an LP record. Which means my ears wouldn't have to be subjected to it. At least Bobo (formerly of Cypress Hill) can stop eating Top Ramen 3 meals a day, at least for a while.

Get Me Gone
This is one of those "why is everybody hating on me for my success?" songs. Yawn. Thankfully it's short.

High Road
John Legend guests. I can't front, I dig dude's piano stylings, and his voice ain't too bad either. The second "why is everybody hating on me for my success?" song in a row, only good this time.

Kenji
"A very special" Fort Minor song about the Japanese internment camps. Why do most artists have to make any song with a serious topic sound so bloody boring? Shinoda could have at least made his verses rhyme, but no. Karma prohibits me from calling this a shitty fucking song. No, you won't hear me calling this a shitty fucking song. That would be mean.

Red To Black
This really sounds like a Linkin Park song. Did they break up or something? Why does Shinoda inlist another Bennington soundalike? Disappointingly, this song isn't about fiscal earnings. Damn.

The Battle
30 seconds of a live Celph Titled freestyle. I have no idea why this is on here. Celph Titled probably doesn't either.

Slip Out The Back
Now, I'm no recording artiste, but I do know that you don't end your album with a sleepy, mundane track like this one. I guess "leave 'em wanting more" is something Shinoda is unfamiliar with.

The Verdict: I think Shinoda is an accomplished producer, Petrified and the album's other crappier tracks notwithstanding. His MC skills leave much to be desired. I suppose this CD is worth a download, but definitely not a purchase. 3 out of 5 *_*.

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