Cold World

Damn, it got cold but fast. One day I'm lounging on my balcony in my flip-flops and a codpiece, the next I'm dressed up like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story. I know I say this every year, but the seasons are getting shorter and shorter. My father, a chemist whose true calling was meteorology, insists that isn't the case; the weather has always been fucked up, he reckons. He also has been known to sing I Will Always Love You to the dog after a single glass of wine, though, so take his conjecture with a grain of salt. After all, this is the same guy who claims it is impossible for one to get a sunburn through glass. Obviously, he's never been to Mercury.

Some quick thoughts:

1) I meant to write a review of the new Franz Ferdinand album, but because it's not a hip-hop album and I therefore can't (or shouldn't) use words such as "dope," and because I think it's a phenominal record and, admittedly, I only really enjoy writing reviews when I'm disappointed by an album/film/lunch buffet, I ultimately decided against it. But I will say this: why begin an album with what are (arguably) the CD's two best songs, and finish it with (again, arguably) its two worst? To paraphrase Dante Hicks, it ends on such a down note; only, unlike The Empire Strikes Back, not in a particularly good way.

Still, VFG album. It's not The Bends, or It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back, but very few sophomore records are.

2) I made some harsh, erroneous predictions a week ago concerning the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Sacramento Kings. Please switch the two assessments around and pretend like I'm a genius.

Still, if Sacto can't get things going with the team they have (and that includes you, Kevin Martin; you're the most talented young, gay player the league has), Rick Adleman needs to be put out to pasture. If I'm the GM there (god, how I wish I were the GM there), I give Herr Adleman until late-November, possibly early-December. If shit's the same by then, start looking into what exactly Charles Oakley is doing these days.

(Yes, my one-man movement to make Charles Oakley an NBA coach is 100% serious)

3) Not that I ever have, but as a warning to anyone out there who might've: stop talking shit about Carrot Top. Don't let the mascara fool you; he's a behemoth, and he'll kick your ass:

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