Aboard the Billennium Falcon

I presume that the majority of Psychedelic Kimchi's readership is familiar -if only in passing- with Billy Ocean's Loverboy because if you're reading this blog, you're probably into shit like Billy Ocean -if only by definition- but while the song may ring a few bells, you may have forgotten the utterly absurd, arguably nonsensical video that accompanied it some twenty-five years ago.



Ignoring the obvious fact of the video being a total rip-off of Star Wars and the Mos Eisley Cantina, let's discuss the messages conveyed within its celluloid folds. To be candid, I don't put much stock in the everything has a message! ideology favored by some but nevertheless, let's pretend that Loverboy contains lessons to be learned, shall we?

1) Billy Ocean not-so-secretly yearns to be Han Solo. Fair enough, Billy. I mean, who hasn't wanted to be, or be like Han Solo at some point in his or her life?

2) Smitten by a girl/woman/lady/female/alien of potentially compatible sex? Fill her companion with a hot bolt of plasma (not a metaphor) and drag the lady off. And just remember guys: if she resists, slap her around a little because...

3) Deep down, females wish to be dominated. Seriously, watch the portion near the end again and tell me she doesn't jump up on that horse willingly.*

* Is this a metaphor?