Coming Attractions

[I know...I stay retired like Richard Dreyfus; but believe me when I say that

(I miss curly fries and Mott's Bloody Caesar so bad I could kill)

I will only be posting here when I get the urge to write something that I can't express in everyday life or on Facebook. Or on the walls of bathroom stalls. This is one such example.]

So, how about the Miami Heat? Dude, I know. After The Decision I wanted desperately to vomit...my exuberance into words. But work got in the way. (My feelings about LeBron signing with the Heat were perfectly summed up by this.)

Fortunately, I have the day off today; and as I sit in my Fortress of Balla-'tude*, looking over the recently announced big Heat games of the 2010-2011 regular season, I've started wondering which films might perfectly complement each game.

So, without further ado (Christ, I can't believe I just wrote "without further ado." My sword has grown dull), here are my picks for Miami Heat-movie-watching bliss:

Tuesday Oct. 26: @ the Boston Celtics



Wednesday Oct. 27: @ the Philadelphia 76'ers



Friday Oct. 29: vs. the Orlando Magic



Thursday Dec. 2: @ the Cleveland Cavaliers



Wednesday Dec. 15: vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers



Sunday Dec. 25: @ the Los Angeles Lakers



Monday Jan. 31: vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers



(Starring Dan Gilbert as Leonidas)

Tuesday March 29: @ the Cleveland Cavaliers



And...scene!


* Did I make you cringe? I hope I just made you cringe.