Creation Myth

In the beginning, Google created Blogspot*. And Blogspot was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the Internet. And the Spirit of Spakros moved through fiber-optic cables.

And Spakros said, Let there be images: and there were images. And Spakros saw the images, that they were good: and Spakros divided the images from the text.

And Spakros called the images Day, and the text he called The Rest. And the reading stuff and the pictures were the first day.

And Spakros said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the bullshit, and let it divide the bullshit from the bulltrue.

And Spakros made the firmament, and divided the bullshit which were under the firmament from the bulltrue which were above the firmament: and it was so.

And Spakros called the firmament Psychedelic Kimchi. And the reading stuff and pictures were the second day.

And Spakros said, Let the fiber-optic cables under Psychedelic Kimchi be gathered together unto one place, and let freedom appear: and it was so.

And Spakros called the free land YouTube; and the gathering together of the fiber-optic cables He called Geocities: and Spakros saw that it was good.

And Spakros said, Let Youtube bring forth memes, intelligent commentary, and the glorious reflection of enlightened living beings, whose seed is, in itself, upon the earth and Japanese women's faces: and it was so.

And Youtube brought forth memes and... And Spakros saw that it was good in the same way Under Siege 2 is good on cable on a Sunday afternoon while suffering from a crippling hangover.

And the reading stuff and the pictures would have to wait for the fourth day.

Because Spakros was pissed.


* Some of the more out there fundamentalist factions of The Blogosphere contend that Blogspot was created by a group called Pyra Labs, but whatever. They're the same loons who claim a doctor named Yacub stuck needles into the heads of Blogspot babies to create Wordpress.